I just can’t face Christmas this year
THIS is one of those niggling little problems many people will regard as trivial, but which can cause a lowering of the spirits. such feelings can leave us, especially as we grow older, with a perpetual sense of yearning for what we know can never be fulfilled.
How many people look into the mirror and reflect that this life is not what they hoped for?
I’m not referring to obvious unhappiness — one of the many stresses that afflict our lives, from marriage to family problems, money worries, disappointment at work and disillusionment with friendships. All those are recurring staples of this column.
No, your simple email opens another door of woe hard to define.
To be absolutely honest, when you say you ‘very much want to learn how to relax more, not to expect too much and to try to prevent myself from being depressed afterwards’, you could be talking about me, too. Perhaps we can learn from each other.
There’s a disconnect between the magic of Christmas imagined by so many of us as children and the reality experienced by your mother.
On the one hand, there are stars, lights, angels, Father Christmas, baby Jesus (plus wise men, shepherds and animals), adored carols and the stockings on the end of the bed. Oh joy!
On the other hand, there’s shopping, wrapping, labelling, more shopping (this time for food), timing the meal, washing up, and so on and on. Every year. Christmas is at once joy and drudgery and after 43 years of cooking turkeys I have no idea how to change things. Or whether I really want to.
You first mention the buying of presents — so that’s the place to start. Why not be disciplined and set yourself a budget this year, perhaps deciding that one or two on your list could just have a card instead of a gift?
We tend to spend too much, so this year would be a good time to shift the habit. If you give somebody a posh present and they don’t respond as you’d like, you lay yourself open to disappointment. If you give a ‘token’ (look at the beautiful poem-pamphlets, many of them light-hearted, published by Candlestick Press), you will find your burden lighter.
Please don’t ‘dread Christmas-time’ — because you have the right idea about it. Always remember those beautiful angels bringing ‘tidings of great joy’ and don’t let them fly from your mind.
Counting your blessings is definitely a start — and then firmly decide to do less, spend less and therefore expect less. And if you try to take this advice, then so will I!