They’re like bickering parents in a bitter battle for our affections

WE Scots are like the children of a broken family whose parents are prone to bickering over our care. Both say they love us – and I believe they do – but there are times when scoring points over the other seems a more pressing concern than our welfare.

This is a regrettable fact of life in far too many domestic arrangements where bitter feelings towards the ex inform questionable judgments on what is in the best interests of their brood.

It takes maturity to compartmentalise the antipathy and a certain nobility to keep it locked up there in dialogues on providing for the children. On the kids’ part, it takes wisdom to recognise when one or other parent is playing them.

This week Chancellor Rishi Sunak announced spending measures for Scots which will amount to an extra £4.6billion a year for the nation. Some of the largesse is going directly into community projects, bypassing the Holyrood purse-string holders altogether.

Think of it as the Christmas when the parent who does not live under the same roof as the children decides to splash out on them with actual presents rather than the habitual bank transfer to the former spouse.

Think of these gifts as evidence we remain ever-present in this parent’s thoughts, that they are committed to their role as guardians and that, whatever we may hear to the contrary from you know who, they cherish their relationship with us.

This is how I prefer to consider the news, for example, that the people of Knoydart are to receive £219,096 from Westminster to buy the Old Forge pub for the community – or that Inverness Castle is being treated to a £19million redevelopment fund.

Hostile

How, then, are we to consider the hostile reaction of our co-custodian?

Scottish Finance Secretary Kate Forbes, you will note, is ‘disappointed’ with the spending which she claims is allied to a UK Government agenda. Worse, she tells us kids, all this extra cash ‘potentially leaves Scotland worse off’.

She wouldn’t be trying to poison our minds against our loving benefactor down south, would she? Also putting Nationalist noses out of joint is the alleged ‘bad form’ in giving directly to the people on the ground rather than handing over the readies to the parent who supposedly knows best about its disbursal.

Yes, in the chilly reception from the Scottish Government for Westminster spending which, on the face of it, is entirely welcome, we find echoes of the archetypal resentful parent, too consumed with illwill to recognise the former partner is simply trying to do right by the children.

The righteous disdain bubbling below the surface is all too palpable. Who clothed and fed them when you were off grandstanding on Brexit or cosying up to Trump? Hmm?

Who went to all their sports days and parents’ evenings? Dried their tears through umpteen years of failure in qualifying for football tournaments? Who helped them with their homework, prepared their packed lunches, nursed them when they were sick? Now you waltz in here with your wad of billions and try to buy their love?

There is a lot of that in the SNP’s attitude to this week’s Budget and, though we may be the children in this squabble, we would do well to recognise it for the bad parenting that it is.

Back in 1997 the nation voted for a devolved form of government where Westminster and Holyrood would share responsibilities for Scotland. In 2014 the nation voted for a continuation of this arrangement. There was crystal clarity in the independence referendum result that full custody for Holyrood was not the stewardship we preferred.

Why then, at every turn, does the Scottish Government assume the role of the ‘senior’ parent and portray Westminster as the remote wastrel fumbling around cluelessly on the margins of our lives?

Agenda

It does so purely in the interests of furthering its own political agenda and removing our other state guardian from the picture altogether.

Well, I say two parents are better than one – and two who can co-operate to encourage prosperity are immeasurably preferable to two warring sides leaving psychological scars on the ones they claim to care about the most. In its sniffy contempt for Westminster billions, who is the SNP really looking out for? Itself or the communities across Scotland which stand to benefit?

These graceless gripes are the sound of a party hellbent on establishing itself as sole ‘protector’ – the full-time parent who is there for us day in, day out. Their implication is Rishi Sunak does not know us like Kate Forbes does, hasn’t invested the hours, probably cannot be bothered.

This may be the stuff of Scottish politics but it bears little relation to our reality.

Less than 11 months ago Britain became the first country on the planet to approve a vaccine for coronavirus. Jabs have since been rolled out to every adult wise enough to take them in each of the Union’s constituent nations, saving countless lives.

Was it the fussing full-time guardian who secured them for Scotland or the fickle cad who sends good wishes from afar? Perhaps Miss Forbes should reflect on the answer.

Westminster should deliver more of those love-bombs directly into Scottish laps. We should keep in touch more, work on that highly important relationship in our lives.

Let the SNP rant all it likes. It’s just jealousy talking.