Why am I so envious of my rich and snooty in-laws?

Your real name indicates you are from a big Asian family, hence the detail about families sharing homes.

You mention ‘children’s birthday parties, our family home, my clothes, handbags and shoes’ as being a source of ‘embarrassment’ because ‘I can’t give my kids those material things’.

Oh Neeta, which do you think your children would prefer — a mum festooned with expensive accessories who just gives them ‘things’, or a loving mother who cuddles them, helps with homework, listens to their every word?

You know what the answer is. So please focus on what you have.

You also know, frankly, that you need to control this envy before it consumes you and turns you into a bitter person.

To know that the glass is always half-full is to acknowledge the love that exists beneath your own roof, to give thanks to all the gods that your husband is kind and your children are healthy, to rejoice in the abundance of the universe which has given you your own life and theirs.

Oh, lucky lady! Stuff ‘handbags’ and value happiness.

Now, how do you know your mother-in-law and all the others in the extended family criticise you behind your back? Could this be a form of projection, because it is you who is criticising them — specifically, their ‘flaunting’ of wealth? If you look glum during social occasions they might wonder what’s up with you, so why not make a vow to enjoy without counting any costs?

Please remember the wisdom of The Bhagavad Gita: ‘It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else’s life with perfection.’