33 YEARS OF MARRIAGE HAS MADE OUR SEX LIFE BETTER!
SINGeR and songwriter Stephanie Benson, 54, is married to John, 62, who owns a kitchen company. They have five children and one grandson and live in Tunbridge Wells, Kent.
STEPHANIE SAYS
We’Ve been married 33 years and we’ve worked hard to keep the flame alive. If anything, our sex life is better than ever. I put it down to us never getting into a rut when it comes to sex — we both like to experiment with new things. We’ve worked on maintaining a loving relationship. By putting ourselves at the centre of our life, we have a happy marriage.
We met in my late teens. John worked for De Beers in London and my uncle was a consultant with them.
My mum was very anti sex before marriage, but advised me that after saying ‘I do’, I should never be too tired for my husband. That’s a very old-fashioned attitude, of course, and lots of people will disagree with it, but it’s one way I’ve tried to make it work for us as a couple.
We’ve both always made time for sex. I’d never turn John down to scroll on my phone or post on social media.
even though the children came quickly we’d still have sex regularly in those early child-rearing years. That’s not to say our marriage hasn’t had its ups and downs. I’m the first to admit I have a temper. But I never stay cross long. I think I’ve held off on sex for 48 hours maximum.
I’ve always been the instigator of sex in our marriage. And no, I don’t think I have a high libido, it’s just because I love being with John. When I used to travel around
The maximum I’ve held off on sex is 48 hours
the country singing, we’d come home from a gig and have a quickie in the car so we didn’t disturb the children!
We’ve had moments when it hasn’t been easy. In 2015 I had a double mastectomy and a hysterectomy. Recovery took six months, but we didn’t wait that long to be intimate.
I still fancy my husband, and love to make an effort for him. each night I want him to look at me and feel the same desire he always has. But we spend a lot of time talking about our feelings. The other rule is before we go to sleep, we always kiss and say I love you.
I’d advise anyone to take time, at least once a month, to really connect with your other half’s body. As they get older they change, and they appreciate knowing how much we still love them.
JOHN SAYS
A BIG part of the reason we have as much sex as when we first got together is that we still fancy one another.
We try to create moments for the two of us — we do indulge in fantasies.
That’s not to say our sex life has always been in fifth gear. In 2004 I left the company I’d worked with most of my life, while we were putting the children through private school. It took its toll in the bedroom. now the children are largely independent, things are back to how it was when it was just us two.
She might be a 50-something woman who has had our five children, but she is still gorgeous, sexual and sensual.
I know how lucky I am. You can always find fun things to do together. If you can’t, you have to ask yourself whether you should still really be together.