Star opens up about depression

TELEVISION presenter Matt Johnson has opened up about his battle with depression and how he came close to taking his own life at Christmas.

He has described how he stood on a balcony intending to jump, but not doing it was “the best decision I ever made”.

Writing for the Daily Mirror, the presenter, from Caerphilly, says he always gets anxious at Christmas because of what happened eight years ago.

He also describes how his mental health deteriorated as his career was on the up.

“It’s difficult to pinpoint exactly when I first felt low but I remember feeling sad when I had an accident in my early 20s. I slipped, shattering my cheekbone and breaking my jaw and nose,” he says. “I was in hospital for 10 days. For the first time in my life I felt vulnerable. And I didn’t like it. I felt bleak but didn’t realise it was an illness and didn’t speak to anyone.”

In 2009, he was suffering from severe depression and anxiety and went to his family’s apartment in Spain just before Christmas with a plan to take his life.

He says: “If there was a scale with suicide at 100%, I was at 95. I was drinking heavily and thinking very bad thoughts about different ways I could end things. Thankfully, I didn’t hit 100%. I stood on their balcony on the fourth floor. Then a cool breeze blew over my face, my head cleared and I decided I wanted to live.

“It was the first time I had felt in control for a long, long time. And it was the best decision I have ever made. I went home and two days later, spent Christmas with my family.Our family dog Louie didn’t leave my side. He knew something was wrong.”

In the new year, Matt got his life back on track as he began training for the London Marathon.

He says: “I had a purpose and focus and life got back on track. Gradually I told my family. When I told Dad six months later we were on the same balcony and he took it very seriously. Although I was cautious, I spoke out publicly and the response was phenomenal. Years later people still say thanks. Speaking out has become one of the most significant things I have done in my life. Suicide is the UK’s biggest killer for young men. We have to find out why.”

He now says that when his anxiety starts, he is on top of it.

Matt Johnson supports the Lloyds Banking Group and Mental Health UK partnership, promoting awareness of the link between mental health and money problems and fundraising for the Mental Health and Money Advice service.

For confidential support, the Samaritans can be contacted for free around the clock 365 days a year on 116 123.