End of year quiz might inspire you to follow in our tyre tracks
YES, it’s that time of year again.
When we’re reduced to scouring the back of the fridge for something to eat, slurping half-glasses of sherry just to get rid of the bottle and wearing inappropriate jumpers to please a gift-giver.
It’s also, of course, a time of reflection, when every TV company throws a Review of the Year, or a 2017 Quiz at its viewers, mainly because it has to fill its schedules with something when there’s no news around.
For us, marooned in Marbella, too skint to party with the millionaires or take advantage of the sales, things are no different.
So we’ve used the spare time to put together our own lifestyle quiz-cumreview of the year to take your mind off the gloom, and the snow, and the halfempty bottles of sherry and maybe inspire you to follow in our tyre tracks...
Q1. You’re feeling a little jaded at work after a tough couple of years. Do you:
a) Pull yourself together and knuckle down? At least you’ve got a job.
b) Look around for something else less mind-numbing and more challenging?
c) Pack it all in, sell your possessions and travel around Europe in a camper van like a carefree beach bum?
Q2. Expecting two years of sunshine and lollipops, your van is battered by high winds and driving rain in the middle of the night during your first week. Is it time to:
a) Pack everything up, drive home and ask for your old job back?
b) Accept that there will be bad weather and invest in some appropriate clothing?
c) Make a cup of tea, then go back to bed?
Q3. Confronted by cocky Continentals crowing about Britain’s “stupid” Brexit decision, do you:
a) Agree with their every word in the hope they’ll think you’re an enlightened European?
b) Ask them if they’ll lend you €10bn to tide you over during the difficult 20 years to come?
c) Decide to polish up your French and German so you can insult them in their own language?
Q4. Your van suffers its second major mechanical breakdown in the space of a couple of months. Your first reaction is to:
a) Roll it into the nearest ravine and claim on the insurance.
b) Find a backstreet garage to patch it up, risking your life on the skills of “Honest Henri”.
c) Accept that “these things happen”, dip into your emergency funds and get back on the road.
Q5. Strolling along a deserted shore, you come across what appears to be a nudist beach. You’re sorely tempted to:
a) Continue walking until you find civilisation. God forbid you should be mistaken for a pervert.
b) Hide in the nearby sand dunes with your camera and hope things get “interesting”.
c) Look around, make sure there’s no-one in sight and live how nature intended. You may never get this opportunity again.
Q6. In a rustic diner, there’s something on the menu you’ve never seen before. Do you:
a) Give it a wide berth? After all, the waitress was sure you wouldn’t like it.
b) Ask for a small sample to taste in the hope it will broaden your English palate?
c) Go for it big time? What’s the worst that can happen – you throw up and flush €15 down the toilet?
Q7. A friend offers you her apartment for Christmas and new year while she visits family in the UK. The only condition is that you look after her dog. On your first day alone together, she accidentally gets her snout into a tin of fuchsia paint. Do you:
a) Beat the defenceless dumb animal with a stick until it’s whimpering for mercy?
b) Quickly clean up the appalling mess, wash the dog thoroughly and take a vow of silence?
c) Take a picture of the hapless but loveable mutt and share your experience on Facebook?
Of fun.
There are no prizes on offer and the only possible answer to each question, of course, is “c”.
So, if you find yourself in accord, pour yourself a celebratory glass of San Miguel and start planning your own knockabout adventures on continental Europe.
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