Pair driven to brink of divorce by son’s fits of violence
A DESPERATE couple say they have been driven to the brink of divorce by their son’s extremely violent behaviour.
Adrian and Emma from Barry Island told how their eight-year-old son Ioan’s outbursts forced them to physically restrain him.
His aggressive behaviour often saw him lashing out at his parents by biting, kicking and punching them.
Emma, 37, and Adrian, 46, have appeared on Channel 5’s Violent Child, Desperate Parents alongside their children Ioan and Sorrel, 11.
A child psychologist who appeared on the show told the couple the key to their son’s poor behaviour lay in a picture he drew of the family showing his mother looming large and his father distant in the background.
During the programme, Emma can be seen grappling with her son on the bed as she tries to stop him attacking her.
Screaming, Ioan bit her wrists and tried to wriggle out of her grasp.
Emma has visible bruising on her arms in the programme.
“He’s bitten my face before,” she told viewers before admitting that he often grabs fistfuls of her hair and yanks on it.
The constant screaming and abusive behaviour also had a detrimental effect on the rest of the family, including his sister and dad Adrian.
“It breaks my heart that he feels like that about me,” Emma said. “It makes me question myself – I must have done something to him for him to want to do that to me.”
She added: “Things cannot carry on the way they are. When he’s kicking off and I’m 90% certain that I am going to end up hurting some way, I hate it – I hate knowing that he’s capable of it.”
Despite his horrific behaviour at home, Ioan was described as behaving perfectly at school.
Child psychologist Laverne Antrobus visited the family for the programme, which sets out to help parents struggling to manage difficult children, and was astonished to witness how Emma had to physically restrain her son in an attempt to calm him down.
When she arrived at the family home, she watched as Ioan had a meltdown when he was asked to turn the volume down on the TV.
Laverne said: “I have very rarely seen a parent use this level of physical restraint – it’s far too physical and I can’t see how it helps with Ioan’s behaviour.
“Ioan is being restrained and that feels completely wrong to me and in fact he is more violent because of it.”
The couple said they had been left feeling broken and defeated by their son’s temper tantrums, with Emma admitting they “don’t know if we can carry on”.
Laverne issued rules for the family to follow, including uniting as one and dealing with Ioan as a team.
Emma took a backseat to allow Adrian to form a closer bond with Ioan who had the opportunity to spend more time with his father.
The new regime improved Ioan’s behaviour so much Adrian and Emma were able to leave the children at their grandparents and enjoy a date for the first time in years.
Meanwhile, Laverne has since revealed a new picture Ioan had drawn – which she said reflected the improved family dynamic he visualises now.
Laverne said Ioan had started by drawing his father then mother, adding his sister and then himself.
“He’s no longer feeling like this,” she said. “[A] developmentally and emotionally delayed young boy who has to somehow get his way in between his mum and dad, he can just be himself.”