WHY IT’S ALREADY XMAS FOR SIAN
CHRISTMAS may still be months away, but one woman in Cardiff has already put up her tree.
But there’s a really important reason why.
Sian Erasmus, who is originally from Crumlin, has suffered with severe depression for most of her adult life. Sometimes it gets so bad that she describes it as being “physically painful”.
“My parents died when I was a teenager,” Sian, who turns 63 on Friday, said.
“In those days depression didn’t even have a name. There wasn’t even a word to describe it. So, I fought all through my twenties and thirties and didn’t really know what I was fighting against. One thing I did know was that I always loved the run- up to Christmas.”
It’s only during the past few decades that Sian – a singer with the Welsh National Opera Chorus – discovered that what she was feeling was depression, one of the most common mental disorders in the UK. “Only now I recognise what it was,” she said. “Now I know when I’m going to go through a spell. I recognise the symptoms. Usually when I sing a song, or smell a flower it gives me a sparkle. But when I’m depressed I feel nothing. “I’m usually such a happy person – always laughing and joking. I look like a Christmas tree on the outside – full of sparkle and glitter – but on the inside there’s still a dark place in my tummy that misses my parents and my life as a child. It never leaves you, but you’ve just got to get on with things.” Earlier this year Sian’s depression returned, and following a series of big life changes she had a “complete crash”. “I went down like a ton of bricks,” Sian said. “My twin boys, who are 24, both moved out, and I started getting empty nest syndrome.” It also meant that Sian didn’t need her three-bedroom house any more, and she decided to downsize. She said: “I had to go through everything in the house – all the kids’ old memorabilia, as well as my parents’ old things. All of their old cards, poems and paintings. Obviously, that was stressful and upsetting and I just became exhausted.”
After moving to her new house and “decluttering” – both physically and mentally – Sian said she started to feel a little better.
“When I moved to my new place I painted everything white – even the ceiling and the furniture. I didn’t want any darkness in my life.”
But Sian felt there was still something missing.
“I started thinking about where I’d put the Christmas tree,” Sian said.
“My son told me: ‘You’re not putting that up now!’ But after the new floor was put in, I went to get the tree from the shed.
“I had some diamonds in the drawer and I decided to put them on. I also wear a lot of pearls and had some spare, so I put them on the tree too. It’s absolutely lush. The tree is dressed better than I am.
“I’ve moved my chair around now, so whenever I sit down I’ve got the tree one side and I’ll have my two dogs on the other.
“I’ve also put Christmas lights on my windowsill and have ornaments throughout the house – so it’s really festive when it gets dark. It’s beautiful.
“You’ve got to do whatever makes you happy and whatever cheers you up. If that means putting the tree up in September, then do it!
“Depression never leaves you, but you’ve just got to get on with things. You’ve got to get up in the morning, make your bed, wash your face, put some clothes on, make a cuppa, look after the dogs, look at your beautiful Christmas tree and just think – ‘you know what, we’re going to be OK!’”
Sian now plans to put up the rest of her Christmas decorations.
“The proper Christmas decorations are still in the shed,” she said. “We haven’t even started yet. This is nothing!”
You’ve got to do whatever makes you happy and whatever cheers you up. If that means putting the tree up in September, then do it!