How the Llanrumney angel saved Christmas for us all...

IT’S THAT time of year again, the time when I lose control of everything.

Just as we’ve crawled on our hands and knees to the end of November – which I believe most teachers would agree is the hardest time of year – those little jingle bells start to creep in.

I liken my behaviour at this time of the year to the boy who sticks his finger in the dyke to stop the sea flooding in; but the holes keep appearing.

Just when we get through it and the end of term is in sight, the Christmas festivities begin and every single Christmas related activity we allow or participate in adds to that nagging feeling that we’re losing control.

We don’t really lose control, but tiredness amplifies those concerns and makes everything look worse than it is.

This year it’ll be just the same, I’ll allow all Christmas activities to take place and as I think about it I’m already beginning to panic.

Enough is enough, I’m banning Christmas this year! I said all this to my senior team last week, but last night as I was leaving school at the end of the day with these thoughts in mind, I was visited by the Rumney/Llanrumney Christmas Angel, who presented a vision of Christmas future:

■ Third week before the end of term The Office Staff: “Armando, shall we order a Christmas tree for the reception area? We’ve been offered a good deal on a real one and we have some great decorations to put on it.”

Me: “Sure, as long as it’s covered during the day.”

Head of Year: “Can I take a group of pupils to the local home for the elderly to sing carols?”

Me: “As long as they’ve completed all the work they will miss with you, in their own time.

Oh, and can you do it in July when the Year 11s have left, so that we don’t have to cover so many lessons?” Head of Music: “I’ll need to have pupils off lessons for rehearsals in the afternoons this week and next and then all day on the day of the concert.

Oh, and I’ll need all my lessons covered.”

Me: “Cancel the concert.”

My wife (to me at home): “You’ll be tired these next few weeks dear, why don’t I do all the cooking and washing up for the next three weeks, while you just relax in front of the TV each night?”

■ Second week before the end of term

Random teacher: “Can staff start wearing Christmas jumpers?”

Me: “You must be joking and get those reindeer socks and matching tie off now.

Oh, and can you go and cover the head of year’s lessons this afternoon, she didn’t listen to me and has taken her pupils off to sing carols.”

Me: “Yes, I meant what I said about covering the tree. You can uncover it an hour after school, when the sports teams come to use the facilities. And while you’re at it, if I hear that Michael Bublé Christmas album being played once more, I’m going to burn it in tomorrow’s assembly in front of everyone.” Deputy Head (In senior team meeting): “What fool decided to hold parents evening on the second last week of term?”

Me: “Erm... that fool was me, back in May when it was a lovely sunny day outside. It seemed a good idea at the time.”

■ Last week of term

Me (to my PA): “Of course I haven’t written any cards to all the staff and no, I’m not sending any to anyone. In

fact, I’m going to be the one this year to suggest that we donate the money we would have spent on cards to charity.” Me (To a group of Year 7 and 8 girls all with tinsel in their hair): “Why are

you all out of class?”

The girls: “Our teacher said we can deliver these cards to our teachers.” Me: “Well, you can take them back to your teacher and tell her to get on with the lesson.

You can do it after school. And lose the tinsel!”

Me (to the school dinner staff): “You expect me to don a Santa hat, wear a beard and go ‘Ho Ho Ho’ with a smile, while serving 800 Christmas dinners? I’ll tell you what, take all the turkey, potatoes and stuffing to a food bank and serve the vegetables to the pupils. AND NO TABLE DECORATIONS!!!” Me, to my senior team: “No, I am not going out with you all after school this week, in fact, put out an email to all staff, banning Christmas nights out. It’ll just make them tired and irritable the next day.” Me (running down the corridor opening every classroom door and shouting in): “Switch off the film and get on with the normal lesson.

And put away those sweets!” Me (to all staff at the end of the last

day of term): “Right off you go, it’s been a relaxing end to the term. Have a good break and make sure all your lessons are planned for next term, when you return.”

I’d done it, I’d got us all through to the end of term in one piece, but at what cost??? And with that in mind, the angel looked sadly at me and trudged off up Trowbridge Road.

Thanks to all the staff, who put on Christmas shows or go carol singing and rehearse them in their own time after school, and weekends to those who take the time (again in their own time) to decorate trees and make the school feel welcoming, and to those who buy things for their pupils and the pupils who buy gifts or cards for their teachers.

And thanks to those who have to put up with us at home when we’re tired and to everyone who finds the energy to put that extra effort in at this time of year, to bring a bit of cheer to others.

Seasons greetings to everyone from Eastern High.