Is speed dating a quick way to find love?
IN A world where Tinder is the place to be and Love Island reigns supreme, do couples still meet by actually just talking face to face? After spending a week on Tinder to get some insight as to what it’s like to date online I thought I’d try another way, speed dating.
It tells you how fast the world of dating is changing that people in their 20s think of speed dating as old fashioned while anyone over 35 sees it as a new, modern thing.
What I wanted to know is whether, at a time most people are glued to their phones and spend, I’d say, 90% of their time talking on social media, do people actually still want to meet up and get to know each other? For a social experiment, I signed up. I booked onto an event in Cardiff, filled in a form and dived into the world of the unknown.
I didn’t really know what to expect, I didn’t really know how popular it would be – but I found out.
Speed dating is not a thing of the past – it’s alive and well and there are lots of events people can attend.
Now onto the juicier bits, what happened?
Let me start with the not so good parts. To be honest, they were more personal dislikes rather than major problems.
Firstly, it was a bit surreal. Not strange – but surreal.
I think it was more because I’m not used to doing anything like this, but it was quite strange to talk to so many
people about the same things over and over again in one night.
Most people came with a mate for moral support, which you can completely understand, but a lot of guys commented on it when they talked to me.
I was told I was “bold”, “confident” and “impressive”. If I’m honest, I’m wouldn’t really say I’m any of those things, I’m just used to doing things on my own.
I just turned up, sat down and chatted to people like I was meant to.
In a way it made me a bit sad that so many people commented on it – not because I felt like I was on my own but because I don’t think you need to be brave to do things on your own.
An awkward question was: “What would your ideal idea of a first date be?”
Let’s be frank – any date would be nice.
In my opinion, you really should be with someone because you want to be with them, and that’s that.
I don’t know if four minutes is really enough time to make a judgement about someone, but it did give enough time to see if someone was genuine or not.
At the very least, it gave you a chance to see that there are some really nice, chatty guys around – even if they’re not the one for you.
And now, for the good bits.
It’s definitely a way to meet people – people from different backgrounds, with different stories, who you’d never get to meet unless you did something like this.
Even if you just came away with a new friend, I’d say it’s a good tool to just throw yourself into talking to people and getting to know them.
For me, the most refreshing thing to come out of it was to see that people can actually still hold a conversation and show an interest in the person you are.
Not to sound awful, but social media has definitely had an effect on the way people are able to communicate.
Dating apps, as popular as they are, are all about judging people on their looks until you get to know them a bit better.
And as for really dodgy chat-up lines on a night out, I’ve heard enough of those to last me a life time.
From the cheesy classics like “Remember me? Oh, that’s right, I’ve met you only in my dreams”, to the rather less appealing, “I would stick my tongue in you”, I’ve heard many horrific attempts to start a conversation.
Speed dating forces you to engage in conversation – you have to ask questions, find out about what they do and what their interests are to see if you can actually connect.
In my opinion, it’s a much nicer way of meeting people if you want to put yourself out there.
Talking is much nicer when it’s not done sending messages via a screen, but if you can’t hold a basic chat things will get majorly awkward very quickly. Trust me when I say four minutes is a long time to be sitting in silence and not knowing where to look.
When you really think about it, we’re actually living in a world of speed dating without even realising it.
Dating apps are essentially the most up-to-date version of it, and you could even call Love Island a version of speed dating on steroids.
It has become quite a normal part of society to chat to someone before just moving onto the next person.
People looking for love decide whether to date, ditch or recouple on the regular.
You may not think about it that way, but it’s actually pretty true.
Since I went to the event lots of people, as you’d expect, have asked me what it was like.
Some people dubbed it strange, others said they think I’m too fussy and some just think it’s a really unnatural way to meet people.
And it is. Nothing about speed dating is natural – it’s the complete opposite.
You’re forcing yourself to meet new people, but for some people that could be a really good thing.
As I spoke to people at the event I was told the same things time and time again.
“I just don’t know how else to meet people”, “I’ve tried dating apps and they’re all about sex”, “I just saw it and thought I’d give it a go.”
If one thing was clear from the experience it’s that people, in 2019, are struggling to meet people naturally.
Some struggle to meet people online, some struggle to meet people at all and others just want to give things like speed dating the benefit of the doubt in case they could actually find someone really lovely.
And, to be fair, it could happen. There were some really nice people, and there was a buzz of excitement when the event came to an end.
I looked around and saw some people mingling, some stayed and shared a drink together while others were nervously awaiting potential match notifications to appear on their phones.
As for me, I don’t think I’d go back. But that’s me. I’m not really designed for it.
Could you find someone? If you really are looking for a partner, I’m sure there’s a chance.
Did I meet the man of my dreams? I guess you’ll have to wait and see if there’s a follow-up on the wedding.
There were some really nice people, and there was a buzz of excitement when the event came to an end