‘I’m not sure I’d be here if we’d had social media at my school’
As thousands of children across Wales start school this week, new research has shown many are dreading the return because of bullying. Here, Welsh MP Chris Elmore speaks candidly about the seven years of torment he endured. Laura Clements reports
MORE than half of young people have been bullied at some point in their school lives, leaving scars which have a lasting impact on their mental health, new research claims.
The results of the survey, carried out for The Diana Award’s #Back2School Anti-Bullying Campaign have revealed the shocking impact of bullying on children, with a fifth saying they have been made to feel suicidal.
Ogmore MP Chris Elmore, who has spoken openly about the seven years of bullying he endured at school, even turned to Google when he was just 13 to research how to take his own life.
“I thought it would have been easier than dealing with the bullies,” he said.
Mr Elmore is supporting The Diana Awards and has shared his experiences, which began when he was just 10 years old, to show how bullying “doesn’t need to ruin your life”.
“You can get beyond it,” he said. “And speaking out makes life easier and better for everyone.
“It’s important for people to see that I was bullied and I survived. it.”“Even now, as an MP, people contact me randomly about finding themselves in a similar situation at work and they don’t know how to deal with
Now aged 35, Mr Elmore, who got married six weeks ago, says the sevenyear bullying campaign he was subjected to shaped who he is today.
“I do think I am more understanding of peoples’ complexities,” he explained.
“We all have our idiosyncrasies in life and I can understand that.
“I’m a calmer person. I used to be around very angry people who would give me a smack, so I soon learned that being angry is never a good solution.
“I do understand the challenges that people turn up with at my surgery – whether that be about benefits or immigration.
“I made a conscious decision when I started this work to be more tolerant because of having that deluge of abuse.
“I just don’t see the point in behaving in an aggressive manner.”
Mr Elmore was subjected to verbal and violent abuse so bad during his time at St Ilan Comprehensive in Caerphilly, which has since been shut down, that by 14 he was suffering blackouts which doctors believed was a result of the strain on his mental health.
Only after he went to the police aged 17, when thugs beat him so badly his teeth punctured his lip, did the bullying stop.
The Diana Awards study suggests nearly three-quarters (74%) of children have witnessed bullying behaviour in their schools.
It’s a worrying statistic, said Mr Elmore, particularly in an age where social media has made it easier for bullies to target their victims off the school premises.
“That final attack happened on a Friday and I had the last exam for my AS-levels on the Monday, so needless to say, I had to resit that one,” he recalled.
“Even the family home was targeted and my parents’ car was damaged. But at least when I closed the door when I got home I was relatively safe.
“There wasn’t the pressure of things like Snapchat or Facebook.
“I’m not sure I would be here if social media was a thing when I was at school. I didn’t cope, even back then, and with social media it would have been even harder.
“It just becomes a terrible spiral of unmanageable abuse.”
Few parents realise just how much abuse their children can receive, on their mobile phones, even when they are safely cocooned in their bedrooms upstairs, the MP warned.
The Diana Awards statistics back this up.
■ More than three-quarters (78%) of young people who have been bullied at school have been made to feel anxious;
■ More than half (56%) have not been able to sleep at night;
■ Nearly a fifth (17%) have been made to feel suicidal; and
■ Two in five young people who have been bullied avoid social media altogether.
The Diana Award runs the leading anti-bullying campaign in the UK and Ireland, giving young people the skills, confidence and training to tackle all forms of bullying as anti-bullying ambassadors.
To date, The Diana Award has trained over 33,000 anti-bullying ambassadors in 3,800 schools throughout the UK.
At school, Mr Elmore had few friends and praises a number of teachers for intervening and being “an absolute salvation”.
Mr Elmore added: “I did play rugby, but I was more into things like music.
“I loved school, I loved the teachers and I loved learning.
“I was on the school council and was a student governor when that all started.
“I was a nerd, I suppose, and that was pretty true, but I don’t think that justified the bullying.”
To this day, Mr Elmore has no idea why the bullies started to target him, aged just 10.
“I do remember who punched me in the face for the first time and the teacher who dealt with it said it was a fuss over nothing,” he said.
“He thought it was just squabbles between boys, but it started an avalanche of bullying.”
One incident really sticks in his mind, which happened when he was aged around 14.
“The kids took my uniform while I was doing PE and tied it round a urinal and then peed all over my clothes, and that was just the girls,” he recalled.
Mr Elmore thinks schools should be more aware of just how much bullying goes on and they should do more to tackle it on their premises.
He first raised the issue in the House of Commons as part of an impassioned speech about his experiences in the House of Commons last year and is currently heading a parliamentary group to address bullying through social media, as well as backing the Diana Award campaign.
Alex Holmes, deputy CEO of The Diana Award, said: “School should be safe and free from harmful bullying behaviour. We’re urging everyone to get behind our campaign by helping us to train Anti-Bullying Ambassadors in every school.
“We know this peer to peer approach works and these young ambassadors are already changing behaviours and shaping attitudes by sending a clear message that bullying isn’t acceptable.
“Our vision with the help of government, schools and the public is to reach every single one of the 34,000 schools across the UK”.
For anyone suffering at the hands of bullies today, Mr Elmore has one message: “Don’t suffer in silence, just tell someone, whether that be a teacher, friend or parent.
“It gets better when you tell someone.
“Literally suffering in silence doesn’t make it go away and I have found that out to my own cost.”
■ To kick-off the #Back2School campaign, The Diana Award AntiBullying Campaign is encouraging the public to join in across social media channels by sharing their old school photo along with their advice for young people who are returning to school and if they choose to, text a donation to support the training of young Anti-Bullying Ambassadors in every school.
■ For advice and support online, visit https://back2school.antibullyingpro.com.