Alun Wyn on Barbie, giving the props a cwtch – and why his wife is the boss
“I did the law degree and some of the best times I had, on and off the pitch, was when I had the distraction of doing something else. To have your mind fully focused on something else, another task.
“Having the kids is not a distraction, it is a full-time job. A full-time job for mum, a part-time job for dad if you are a sportsman.
“To have that distraction and the separate focus that you have two, living, breathing responsibilities that you have to provide for, care for, think about, worry about, even when you are not there. It is all encompassing, and to have that, I suppose a break away from whatever field you are doing, whatever sport it may be, can be a good thing.”
■ ...on why props need a cwtch, too
“Just like children there are a few props that need a cwtch now and then. Babies might not have protein powder with their milk, but props do, so it is a similar sort of notion.
“It is funny because that caring element doesn’t change – on or off the pitch. You come out of a game, won or lost, you are in ecstasy because you won, or in the doldrums because you lost.
“You come home and someone has lost their favourite dress for their Barbie, or the snacks have run out, or we have spilt squash on the table.
“That is the agony and ecstasy for a four-year-old. It is all relative, and having that grounding when you come home is nice. To have that diverse feeling, the polar opposite, is the best thing for you.”
■ ...on why playing with Barbies can be the best thing
“The parallel of coming home bruised and battered is Anwen is tired, or just as tired sometimes, even though she hasn’t been wrestling 15 or 16-stone blokes. Parenting can be just as intense and it is 24 hours.
“At least when I am training or playing, there is someone there to blow the whistle and tell us to stop.
“It is nice to come home as well for the mental side of things. To be able to come home, shut the door and be the bottom of the food chain to play Barbies, or clean the kitchen floor is the best thing.” ■ ...on being a modern dad
“I am learning every day. I don’t have all the answers, and if anyone thinks they have they are wrong.
“Every child is different and every parent is different, the way they do things with their child and no parenting method is going to be the same. The more comfortable you are with that, the more answers we will get from that. Kids are going to cry, be unhappy and you are not going to know why.”
■ ...on being away for long periods of time
“The longest I have had to be away was the last Lions tour.
“Mali was born just before the World Cup in 2015 which was only in England, I stayed for the birth and missed a few days in a training camp.
“Gats’ mantra has always been ‘family first,’ he has always been that way. The World Cup was in England so Anwen and Mali did a lot of miles along the M4 to keep in touch in those early days. That wasn’t too bad.
“The longest I have been away was seven or eight weeks with the Lions, and we had Father’s Day out there, which was a tough one.
“New technology does make it easier, though, to keep in touch, but time zones are difficult. It is actually more difficult when I am in Cardiff because it can be so close but yet so far.”
■ ...on what surprised him about becoming a dad
“Where do I start? When I played coming through the academy and then breaking through into the seniors of the Ospreys, the other lads would say it (being a parent) was the hardest, but best thing they had ever done.
“I used to think that it couldn’t be that bad. Now I know what they were talking about. It is 24/7 and you have to have eyes in the back of your head and it is that thing that everyone talks about ‘what did you do before children’?” ■ ...on how rugby helped his parenting style
“In my early days of rugby, I probably spoke more than I listened, and did more than I watched, which are two things I regret.
“Now I am a bit older in my career, I try to listen more and speak less, and watch more and be accurate when I do more.
“I think that is the same with parenting. If you can listen to what the kids want, rather than tell them what they need, and watch them because sometimes they can do things that you don’t realise they can do and you were holding them back.
“The difference in the rugby is that you have a lot of peers close to my age, and they have a lot of experience, so why would I hold them back?
“It is slightly different with the kids and I always listen to my wife. I wouldn’t ever speak across her anyway, because she’s the boss. Watch, listen, look, learn and play.”
■ ...on sharing fatherhood highs (and lows) with his teammates
“You are lucky in a team sport that you have the automatic forum to discuss things like the first day at school, birthdays, chicken pox.
“The things that everyone is going to go through. The trials, the tribulations. To anyone who doesn’t have kids it sounds like the mundane, but these are big, significant, milestones in parenting. To be fortunate to be in a team sport to share those experiences is great.”
■ ...on fears for the future as the father of two girls
“As long as they are confident and comfortable in their own skin, and know where home is then I will be happy enough. It is a big, wide world out there and sometimes the most dangerous stuff is what you can’t see, particularly with social media these days. It is funny how the fears of parents today have changed from the fears 30 to 40 years ago.
“As long as they know where home is, I will be happy.”