I LOVE YOU BRIGHTER THAN THE STARS
Many new parents feel like they’re failing – so GP Dr Pixie McKenna and midwife Vicki Scott advise on how to get it right by trusting your instincts. reports
By Owen Hart, illustrated by Sean Julian, Little Tiger, hardback, £11.99, Ages 3-6.
★★★★★
A BEAUTIFUL picture book that is wonderful for bedtime reading with little ones. With a heartfelt and simple rhyme, the story follows a bear and its cub as they take an evening walk together and enjoy a spot of stargazing.
There are messages of love, support, guidance and care from adult to child, reinforcing the fact that someone – be it mum, dad, grandparent, other family member or guardian – will be there for little ones to rely on, for every step of their journey though life.
Illustrations are magical with spectacular landscapes and star-filled skies, while you can really see the love the bears share for one another through their gentle facial expressions.
All in all a perfect book to wind down with together at the end of the day.
BEING a new parent can sometimes be daunting and overwhelming, and it’s hardly surprising that many new mums and dads feel like they’re not getting it right, or are even failing at the most important job in the world.
Indeed, new research suggests that nearly two-thirds (62%) of UK parents believe they’re failing, and 47% of mums don’t talk openly about their parenting struggles because they’re frightened they will be judged by others.
This sad state of affairs is confirmed by midwives and health visitors, as the WaterWipes research found 84% of them think parents put too much emphasis on being ‘perfect parents’, and should instead trust their instincts more.
To help relieve some of this parenting pressure, GP and mum of one Dr Pixie McKenna – who’s written several advice guides for new parents – and midwife Vicki Scott – a breastfeeding adviser, sleep consultant, and mum of two – share their advice on how to avoid parenting pressure points.
They also reveal what mums and dads can do when they’re feeling overwhelmed as they try to get it right.
1
REMEMBER PARENTHOOD DOESN’T COME WITH A MANUAL
“PARENTING can be daunting, with lots of ups and downs, but it’s important to remember that parenthood is a learning curve, and every baby is different,” says Vicki.
“What might be right for one baby might not necessarily be right for another; trust your instincts and do what feels best.
“As long as your baby is safe and healthy, you’re doing fine.”
2
MAKE NEW FRIENDS
“YOUR usual group of friends may not have children, or may be at work during the week leaving you feeling lonely at times,” says Dr McKenna, who’s best known for her advice in the Channel 4 medical series Embarrassing Bodies.
“Research local postnatal classes or mum and baby groups to build up a network of new parent friends.
“Although it can feel daunting to make new friends at this stage in life, remember that they’re in the same position as you and probably feel just as keen to make friends as you do.”
3
TALK ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS
“BEING a new parent can be challenging and isolating at times, says Dr McKenna.
“Make sure you speak to your family and friends and be honest about how you’re feeling.
“If you feel like you’re really struggling, make sure you speak to your health visitor, midwife or GP, who will be able to provide you with some more tailored advice and support.”
4
DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHER PARENTS
“EACH person will have a different parenting style, and every baby will have different needs,” says Vicki.
“You’re the only mum or dad your baby knows, and in their eyes no one is better than you or could do a better job.
“Don’t stress about what other parents in your mum and baby groups are doing. You’ve got this!”
5
REMEMBER EVERY BABY IS DIFFERENT
VICKI advises: “Let your baby develop at their own pace and encourage their achievements.
“There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to milestones like weaning and crawling, so just remember that as long as they’re happy and healthy, you’re doing fine.
“Of course, if you do have any serious concerns about your baby’s development, speak to your GP, midwife or health visitor.”
6
TURN OFF SOCIAL MEDIA
“THERE’S a lot of pressure for