From Roath Park with love
I USUALLY loves this time of year, not least because I’m a big fan of Halloween and autumnal walks.
The leaves are turning lovely yellows and rusty reds and many have already dropped, as I noticed yesterday when I noticed a man with a leaf blower on Cyncoed Road. He was standing at the end of a long, tree-lined driveway blowing leaves from it on to the public pavement. How anti-social!
Leaf blowers seem like a daft tool but Cardiff Park Rangers recently put one to good use on Roath Park Lake: they used it as an outboard motor to power their rowing boat across the water to do maintenance on the lighthouse.
Speaking of parks, a couple of weeks back I had the pleasure of meeting Allison Owen-Jones, who earlier this year came up with the novel idea of “happy to chat” signs for public benches. You may have seen the bright green signs with a little smiley face, and hopefully even been inspired to chat to a stranger as a result.
I met Allison at Roath Pleasure Gardens near to my office and close to where she lives. It was here that the retired college teacher struck upon the idea of overcoming social awkwardness when initiating conversations with strangers.
“I was in the park one day and saw a very elderly gentleman sitting on a bench, with two free benches either side. He’d made an effort to come there as he couldn’t walk very well, and it looked to me that he wanted company, but I didn’t know whether to sit by him. Would it be weird given there were free benches nearby? I just felt awkward.
“So I thought, what if there was a little sign on the bench just to say he didn’t mind if someone came up and had a chat?
“I acted impulsively and went home and sat at the computer and thought what would make a good sign that would say I’m open to the idea of a chat, so I came up with the words you see on the sign: ‘Stop here if you don’t mind someone stopping to say hello.’”
Excited, within an hour Allison had her sign printed and laminated and went out into the park to put it up.
“I was thrilled,” she says. “It was up for a week. I got enthused by this idea and started putting them up all around Cardiff. It was my project for the summer. They’re everywhere – down by Blackweir, and up in Heath Park... One time, I was putting up a sign and two ladies came along and asked if it was the ‘happy to chat’ bench as they’d been looking for it. They sat down and started to talk, and I thought that was brilliant. People had heard about the idea.”
They stayed up for a month. “After that I think Cardiff County Council had had enough of me because I hadn’t asked for permission. It was a shame because it had taken off on Twitter and other social media. People seemed to like the idea.”
“Seemed to like” is an understatement. Her idea has inspired “happy to chat” bench signs around the world. They now exist in the States, Australia and all around the UK, including London, Brighton, the Wirral and directly across the Channel in Burnham-onSea.
“I’m amazed at how it’s caught on. I happened to Google the topic and up came all these images,” says Allison. “It got better – different places started putting up official signs that are better than my temporary little things. There are some fantastic designs out there. Some are drawn by children.”
I have to admit, when I did a web search I half expected to see chat benches having been around for longer than Allison has been putting up her signs, but no, they seem to have been created over the summer, inspired by others maybe, but all stemming from a bench in Roath Park.
Back in Cardiff, Allison asked her son Owen Llewellyn Jones, the councillor for Adamsdown, to apply to the council for official permission to put up her signs, which was duly granted.
A local woman also asked Allison for the template and has been putting up signs too.
“Anything that’s green is mine, and other coloured signs are put up by others,” says Allison.
Just recently Cardiff Council has said it intends to adopt three benches that will become official “happy to chat” seats. They will be permanent and feature stencilled writing on them.
This is of course welcome news, and hopefully there’ll be more. But I can’t help but wonder if it’s not a bit sad that these signs are needed at all.
After all, as a city and country we prides ourselves on our friendliness –
Award-winning cult brand I Loves The ‘Diff celebrates all that’s good about Cardiff. To see the original ways in which it does this, visit ilovesthediff.com let’s face it, it’s sometimes hard to avoid getting into a conversation with strangers in these parts. Earlier this month in a survey carried out for card firm Moonpig, Cardiff was found to be the UK city that offers the biggest welcome. (It was the fifth most friendly overall but what do they know!)
Age UK reckons that some 1.4 million older people in the UK often feel ignored or invisible, and of course Cardiff folks aren’t immune. I recall many years ago working as a meals on wheels driver in Ely, and sometimes I’d be the only person someone would see that day.
Social isolation and loneliness at any age is a terrible thing, and so if Allison’s simple idea can do a little bit to combat this problem both here and abroad, it’s a very good thing indeed.
“There are all kinds of signs out there, and every one that says, ‘Stop here if you don’t mind somebody stopping to say hello’ have used these words that came from Cardiff,” says Allison.
“It makes me very proud indeed to have started something that has now gone around the world. The latest ones I saw were in Melbourne and in New York. That just floored me, that there’s a park bench in New York using the same words that started off in the flower gardens of Roath Park.”
I Loves The ‘Diff has been celebrating Cardiff for 10 years. Follow @ ilovesthediff on social media and visit the shop at ilovesthediff.com
It makes me very proud to have started something that has now gone around the world. The latest ones I saw were in Melbourne and in New York
Allison Owen-Jones