DON’T TRY TO DO IT ALL
4
USE YOUR ATTENTION SMARTLY
MUSTERING the energy to manage wayward children on top of working is a big challenge. When we’re busy, it’s easy to slip into the trap of ignoring children when they’re being good and overreacting to behaviour we don’t like.
Your attention means everything to your children, and they’ll do pretty much anything to get it.
Working parents are often racked with guilt about not being able to give their children enough attention. But it’s not how much attention we give that’s the crucial issue, it’s where we direct it.
Creating a happy family dynamic isn’t about finding extra time, it’s about parenting smarter by targeting your attention towards the behaviour you want to encourage.
5
SET CHILDREN UP TO SUCCEED
AVOID constant firefighting by setting some clear, simple and positive ground rules. Children are used to having golden rules at school or nursery, so have some at home too.
The best rules help children focus on what good behaviour looks like so they can do it more often. Use praise and attention smartly to positively reinforce the behaviour you want to encourage.
6
PARENTAL involvement is a great thing. But taking over and doing too much for our children isn’t good for them. To develop good self-esteem and life skills, children need to do things for themselves, to make mistakes and to learn from their failures. Running around picking up after children who are old enough to do things for themselves is not an act of love, it’s an act of developmental sabotage. It also means you’ll never have enough time to enjoy being a member of your family.
■ The Work/Parent Switch (left) by Anita Cleare is published by Vermilion on Aprii 30, priced £12.99.