ASK THE EXPERT
Q
MY 14-year-old son spends too much time on his phone or gaming, and he’s been even worse during lockdown. How can I get him to reduce the time he spends on a screen, without causing an argument?
A
PSYCHOLOGIST Brad Marshall, aka the Unplugged Psychologist, is director of the Internet Addiction Clinic in Sydney, Australia, and author of The Tech Diet for Your Child and Teen (Harper Collins, £14.99). He says:
“Many teenagers are able to moderate their own screen time. Some are not. This can lead to endless arguments when they tell you they’ll get off or limit themselves in future but can’t follow through.
“One of the reasons is the area of the brain responsible for things like impulse control and emotional control is underdeveloped in the teenage years. With that in mind, many teens require boundaries. Will it cause arguments? Yes, sometimes. But it’s necessary for us as parents to guide them.
“How do you do this during the Covid-19 lockdown? In practical terms, emphasise using screen time as a reward for two main areas. First, maintaining a relatively normal sleep schedule. Second, encouraging some off-screen time and exercise where possible. I don’t recommend parents getting into arguments about every tiny little thing during lockdown. Keep the bigger picture in mind.
“One thing I’ve observed in my internet addiction clinic is a pattern of increased conflict when a parent tries to physically remove a device from a teenager. It feels intrusive to a teenager and they are more likely to escalate.
“One of many strategies is to take control of the home wi-fi (and mobile smartphone data) and place reasonable limits on it.
“Another strategy is to play down the argument about limiting screen time and play up the need for balance in other activities like sport, school, family outdoor activities, or even a part-time job (post lockdown). All these activities will require them to naturally take a break from gaming or their phone without naming that as the primary goal.”