Lockdown baby who must think everybody lives inside the phone
BECOMING a new mum is challenging for most people, but it’s even more difficult when you’re adapting to the new role during lockdown.
With no family network able to help, very little potential to have days out and the heartache of not being able to watch your baby develop relationships with other family members – it has been a tough road for new mothers trying to adapt to their new roles.
There are few places to go and rules involving social distancing mean mum and dad are the only people able to have a little cwtch with the newest member of the family.
The past few weeks may have been very challenging and at times heartbreaking for many new parents – and one Welsh mum told the Echo all about what her journey during lockdown has been like since giving birth in January.
Amy-Marie Hughes, 27, had her first baby, Henry Richards, at the beginning of the year and since then her journey hasn’t been an easy ride.
From complications towards the end of her pregnancy to Storm Dennis affecting her hometown of Tonypandy
to lockdown, it’s been a far from quiet few months for a young woman trying to adapt to motherhood.
Amy-Marie is now forming a part of a group of women who are calling for maternity leave to be extended due to Covid-19, as she feels they have been massively overlooked.
Even though she understands there is a lot going on for everyone at the moment, she’s constantly worrying about childcare issues, her baby’s development and the emotional wellbeing of both her child and herself.
Amy-Marie said she had a “fairly stressful” pregnancy that included lots of extra scans due to the baby’s growth and her health.
Then what she describes as a “traumatic” birth actually ended in theatre.
She said: “I was in hospital for two days, but I came home with quite a lot of stitches and a broken coccyx bone, so for the next six weeks I could do hardly anything.
“Then we had the extreme floods, then we had the lockdown.
“We haven’t done anything at all – we have just been housebound.”
She was meant to have three weeks off prior, but Henry arrived a little early. Amy-Marie only had four days on maternity leave before the baby arrived.
The new mum explained that, at first, she had a lot of help as her mother and mother-in-law would often visit the house to help her out, as she needed time to recover from the birth herself.
But when the UK was put on lockdown, this instantly had to change, and with the help of her partner she’s quickly had to learn to adapt to becoming a mother by herself.
“We had lots of things planned – walks and family days,” she added.
“All his grandparents and greatgrandparents are still alive and they haven’t been able to have time with him to bond and they can’t see him. None of them can visit or see their grandson. It’s been hard.”
Amy-Marie said one of the most difficult days she faced was when lockdown was officially announced.
She wanted to do something nice for members of her family before they weren’t allowed to see each other so she – with the help of her mum – made corned beef pies to drop on people’s doorsteps.
But as Amy-Marie was still recovering from the birth, she admitted her mum had to do a lot of the cooking.
Discussing the night lockdown was announced, she said: “My mother rang me crying.
“I felt really upset then because I made her bake all day instead of spending time with Henry.
“That completely broke me, so it took me a lot of strength to come around.”
Amy-Marie’s partner, James Richards, is still working at the moment, so most days it’s just her and the baby.
“He [James] is in work,” she added. “So most of the time it’s just me and the baby, which is hard because when he was first born my mother, and my partner’s mother, would be here a lot because, at that point, I was still struggling to stand up.”
As well as trying to cope with less support, Amy-Marie said there were other worries mums like her are struggling with.
Henry’s having so little contact with the outside world – and people – that she’s worried how he will adapt to life when things get back to normal.
She thinks his social anxiety could be a problem when it becomes safe to leave him, as he hasn’t been able to attend any baby groups or anything similar.
Amy-Marie, who is a nursery nurse, said: “Four months is the time they start bonding and building relationships with people but, because of lockdown, he hasn’t had much time to bond.
“We haven’t been to many baby classes.
“We went to one before lockdown started.
“I think he thinks the family live in the phones because we FaceTime each other every day – he must think everyone lives in the phone.”
As well as worrying about not mixing with other children, Amy-Marie also has the prospect of childcare to worry about when she returns to work.
She said she needs to ensure she has money coming in to pay the bills but, at the moment, she doesn’t know what nurseries will be open and what restrictions will be lifted by the time she is due to return to work.
Amy-Marie said the constant worry is “sucking any enjoyment” out of her maternity leave, as she is due to return to work in September.
When asked if there is an option to extend her maternity leave, she said: “I can extend it, but the last three months are unpaid so that’s not an option really.
“We can’t have no money coming in. It’s going to be during Christmas so I’m definitely going to need money to plan for Christmas.”
■ Amy-Marie is now calling on people to help more than 200,000 mothers who are fighting for their maternity leave to be extended via an online petition at https://petition. parliament.uk/petitions/306691?