Three men and their baby

The Socially Distant Sports Bar is a podcast that was born out of lockdown, but which has quickly grown to become one of the most listened-to shows in the UK. David Owens met its creators Steffan Garrero, Elis James and Mike Bubbins...

THERE’S an unmistakeable noise coming through my headphones. It’s the sound of two men giggling like schoolboys.

At various moments there’s “dead air”, which in radio terms would mean panic, but in the case of the podcast I’m listening to, I’m reassured it’s about to pre-empt an eruption of laughter. The pair are evidently finding it difficult to contain just what a good time they’re having.

There’s something very uplifting about the sound of two people making each other laugh. And God knows we’ve all needed something to put a smile on our faces in these troubled times.

Luckily, the duo in question also happen to be two of Wales’ finest comics, Mike Bubbins and Elis James – hugely knowledgeable sports fans both and the reason why the Socially Distant Sports Bar, to give their podcast its name, has quickly become something of a phenomenon, a mustlisten for those who love sport, history and hilarity.

The idea of former BBC Wales sports presenter Steffan Garrero – who acts as producer and amiable ringleader vainly attempting to keep his two charges in check – the podcast has quickly established itself as one of the UK’s most popular pods – no mean feat in such a crowded marketplace.

While many of us have no doubt faced quarantine vowing to fulfil creative pursuits, writing a novel or, more plausibly, the opening paragraph of the first chapter, others have contented themselves with more straightforward achievements – gardening, clearing out the attic, decoding our bizarre quarantine dreams or being on first-name terms with the Deliveroo driver.

Thankfully, Mike and Elis have spent the intervening months of the coronavirus crisis mining comedy gold. These two particularly adept prospectors, holed up in their Socially Distant Sports Bar, have provided a weekly dose of pure escapism from the uncertainty of the world – the pod a constant beacon of unrelenting light, levity and laughter during lockdown.

If you, like me, enjoy grown men making each other laugh while riffing on a range of improbable sporting scenarios, such as Mike Tyson taking on the hardest men in the Gurnos or what American street fighter Kimbo Slice would sound like if he was from the Swansea valley, then you’ll love the irreverent, improvised nature of the podcast.

Launched at the beginning of lockdown in March and with a distinct, stripped-back acoustic version of Grandstand as its theme tune, it has quickly found a captive audience, in every sense, given that most of us have been confined to the barracks of our own homes for more than three months.

The catalyst for the project was Steff, who had an idea for a podcast for sports fans who were missing sport during lockdown that captured the essence of what it’s like to be a real fan without lapsing into dry weighty analysis.

“I’ve always wanted to be involved in a project which really gets across what it’s like to talk about sport as a real fan,” he says. “Of course, talk about the details of games and players you love, but most of the time you get distracted by something funny or silly.

“I’d finished at the BBC back in December to join Cardiff Met University as a senior lecturer in sport media. They were keen for me to stay within the industry while I teach and I was looking for a fun side project.

“When lockdown happened I texted Mike and Elis to see whether they wanted to try out a few ideas and it spiralled into this. We only spoke about the idea between ourselves about six days before we recorded the first episode – it was that fast.”

By his own admission, Distantpod, as it’s known to fans of the podcast, has taken off much quicker than Steffan ever imagined.

“It’s really hit a sweet spot with people,” he says. “We knew that if we launched the idea really quickly, rather than waiting for someone to commission it, we could build a big audience during lockdown.

“There was a captive audience there, but speed was the key. I really think that if we’d waited for two or three weeks we’d have missed the boat because that’s when everyone started to publish their Covid19 lockdownrelated podcasts.

“I always like to think of audience numbers in terms of football grounds and we’re bringing in a decent Championship-size crowd for each episode now.”

Each week, the trio meet in their virtual pub to discuss classic sports docs, clips and books, but they invariably get distracted a lot and wind up talking about Bobby Davro, Lionel Blair and Bruce Lee.

Steffan, who describes Distantpod as “Three friends sitting in a ‘pub’ telling each other about YouTube clips of sport they’ve watched, but who frequently get sidetracked by laughing”, has known Elis and Mike for several years. It transpires the trio are good mates.

“I think I first met Elis after the Cyprus v Wales [Euro 2016 qualifying] match, but I don’t think he’ll remember that, he had his top off asleep in a bar,” he laughs.

“I met Mike on the side of a rugby pitch when our boys started playing as five-year-olds. We’d see each other on the school run, our kids are at the same school, and we’d always planned on working together, but this was the first time we managed to make it work.”

One of the key features of the podcast is the kinetic chemistry between Elis and Mike, who first met while starting out as comics in Cardiff more than a decade ago. Steffan had no hesitation in bringing them together, as he knew they would work so well together.

“They’ve known each other for years and they had always talked about each other,” he says. “There’s a clear affection there – a big brother, little brother relationship which I thought could work well.”

As for the comics themselves, who have appeared together on TV in the sitcom Josh and, more latterly, as part of BBC Wales’ comedy series Tourist Trap, they are polar opposites and that in essence is their appeal.

Foppish indie kid and football fan Elis, 39, is as likely to be able to name all Gorky’s Zygotic Mynci’s B-sides as he is to break down in tears at the sight of an Adidas Wales football shirt from 1986. He’s also no stranger to podcasts, thanks to his radio partnership with fellow comic John Robins, the pair picking up a sizeable audience on Radio X and now with a weekly show on BBC Radio Five Live, while closer to home his Welsh football podcast Elis James’ Feast Of Football has a large and loyal audience.

Rugby fan Mike, 48, a lantern-jawed former Elvis impersonator with a predilection for shirts so loud you need earplugs to look at them, is no stranger to sports bars, having built his own Bubba’s Bar in his garden. He is also a man who appears to have lived several lives, if his highfalutin Distantpod anecdotes are any measure.

Judging by the iridescent wallpaper in his living room, the Cortina in his garage and his collection of Sweeney

DVDs, one of those lives was most definitely in the 1970s.

“Elis and I are so unalike,” says Mike. “He’s football, I’m rugby. He’s the Beatles, I’m Elvis. I’m a lover and a fighter, he’s neither. There are very few things we agree on. We are basically like Walter Matthau and Jack Lemon in The Odd Couple. Incidentally, Elis says my references are hopelessly outdated, I say they’re not.

“I’ve known Elis for probably 12 years,” he adds. “We met on the south Wales comedy scene. First time I met him I remember thinking he was odd, but he did make me laugh a lot. That’s basically remained a constant. Before he sold out and moved to England we did see quite a lot of each other. Not like that... although we have both seen each other in our underwear.”

Elis heartily agrees with his podcast partner’s forensic summation, before proffering his own take.

“We’re rugby v football, East v West, Elvis v the Beatles, lifting very heavy weights and taking supplements v riding your bike to work and the occasional bit of five-a-side,” he says.

“Stand-up usually attracts thin, socially-awkward outcasts, not muscular ex-rugby players who will sing an Elvis song in public at the drop of a hat as part of a personal mission to educate the public.

“Mike is one of the funniest people I have ever met. He has also managed to fit the experiences of about 10 people into one life. His autobiography will be longer than the Bible and also provide a doctrine to live your life by.

“I wouldn’t dress like Mike for all the tea in China, but we’re very good mates.”

While they both readily admit they are polar opposites, the respect and affection they have for each other is clearly evident.

I interview everyone separately for this piece and both Elis and Mike tell the same story about how they drove up to Edinburgh together, to underline how well they get on.

“I once drove Elis and I to the Edinburgh Festival,” recalls Mike. “When we finally arrived we realised we had talked non-stop nonsense for eight hours.”

“He has a more interesting backstory than Muhammad Ali,” says Elis of his pod partner. “I drove to Edinburgh with him once. He told anecdotes for nine hours, each one was something I’d dine out on forever. We only listened to one song during the entire journey – Dolly Parton’s Nine To Five as we pulled into Tebay Services.”

The combination of interesting stories, informed observations, outrageous daftness and earthy humour is underpinned by the pair’s natural warmth – there’s nothing contrived and that transmits itself easily to the ever-growing band of listeners who

have quickly spread the word. It’s obvious that fans of the podcast absolutely love it.

In 12 weeks the podcast has spawned Twitter fan accounts and artwork by fans to illustrate the stories Elis, Mike and Steff discuss in each episode. To say it’s taken off quickly would be an understatement, something that has genuinely surprised both comedians.

“The listeners have been amazing,” says Mike. “I’ve never had a response like it. We get sent lovely emails, great comments, gifts, books, fan art, people just seem to love it. And so far it’s all been by word of mouth, friends telling friends about it.

“It’s a cliche, but I think it’s because there’s something for everyone. That’s big part of it. Also, and I think this is absolutely crucial, you can’t fool people. They’re not daft. We’re not three randoms put together by a production company to have semi-scripted ‘banter.’ We are three mates who get together once a week to do something which we honestly enjoy doing as much as anybody listening.”

Elis says he his stunned by the feedback they’ve had: “It also really increases your enthusiasm for recording when you know that there are people out there who really like it.

“If it took off properly, it would be the best job in the world.”

The podcast is recorded on a Sunday evening – and it sounds as much fun to record as it is to listen to. Although I don’t envy Steff ’s herculean editing of the podcast.

“We spend a lot of time on a Sunday night laughing,” says Mike. “The three of us work well together. If Steff wasn’t there, I don’t think the recording sessions would ever end. Elis and I love nothing better than to spin off on tangents. We both love films and history and books and impressions and showing off.

“Nothing is scripted. The whole point is it’s mates sat around a table or leaning on the bar of a (virtual) pub, having a laugh with each other. The actual pod, as it’s released on a Tuesday, is about an hour and 20 minutes, but we often chat for three hours on the Sunday night. So there’s quite a bit of editing for Steff to do on a Monday, but I was very clear from the outset that I was only interested in doing the fun bit, so that really is his problem.”

For Elis, the recording leaves him lagging on a Monday morning.

“I can never sleep afterwards because it feels like I’ve done a gig,” he says. “If my daughter asks me why I’m tired on a Monday, I’ve got to be honest and say, ‘Dad was talking about boxing with his funny friends.’

“It’s the closest I’ve come to a night out in months. I don’t drink very much any more because I have very young children, but when I’m drinking lager and listening to Mike argue that Bruce Lee ‘was actually rubbish,’ I feel like a teenager and I’ve just discovered drinking in pubs.

“People say it’s like being in a pub with friends, which I think is quite an evocative thing to try to capture during lockdown.”

For Steff, it’s a free ringside seat at a quality comedy gig – with a lot of editing to do afterwards.

“I let them disappear off into their heads and start riffing, I just sit back and let them go,” he says. “They egg each other on. Comedians like to make other comedians laugh and when they start going you can see both their brains starting to whirr and they both try to think of the funniest thing they can.

“It’s not competitive, just two guys bouncing off one another to make each other, and me, laugh. It’s like free entertainment for me.

“I think a lot of sports radio, TV and podcasts are too serious – you can have real belly laughs, but also talk about the political climate in the 1980s without it being jarring.”

While much of the podcast sees Elis and Mike riffing on the subjects they are discussing, there’s actually quite a bit of work that goes into each episode.

“I’ve spent a lifetime playing, coaching, reading about and watching sport, so that informs a lot of it,” says Mike, who was a PE teacher before he traded education for the entertainment industry.

“I’ve been doing stand-up for 12 years, so I can lean on that a lot too. But for each episode we watch half a dozen clips, a sports documentary and read a book.

“Something which has evolved, and which is great, is that listeners are now suggesting things we can watch and read and some of them have been absolute pearlers.”

“I have a long list of potential clips and think quite carefully about the clips I’ll choose,” adds Elis. “I’ll make notes on my choices and try to watch the documentary twice. And I love every single second of it.

“I get to watch videos of Maradona doing his pre-match warm-up or Steve Robinson winning a world title belt under the guise of work.”

Ask Elis and Mike for the reasons behind the podcast’s success and they’ll both tell you it’s because it appears to work on different levels for listeners.

“It’s a comedy sports podcast for people who can take or leave sport,” says Mike. “If you do like sport, there will be an awful lot of sports stuff and some great tips about sports docs, clips and books. If you’re not really into sport, there will be three blokes having a lot more fun than they should be having alone in their bedrooms on a Sunday night.

“It’s as much about sport as the listener wants it to be, essentially. One thing I’ve been really happy about, in the short time we’ve been going, is the great response we’ve had from across the spectrum – younger, older, male, female, sporty, non-sporty, Welsh, non-Welsh.”

For all its brilliant humour, the educational aspect of the podcast shouldn’t be underplayed. Elis, Mike and Steff all say they learn something new every week.

“It’s very rare that Mike and Steff choose clips, books or documentaries that I am already aware of,” says Elis. “I had no idea Mike was such a fan of gymnastics, I had no idea Steff’s knowledge base covers every sport since dawn of time. As a sports fan, it’s heaven.”

“I had no idea that there is an annual football match in Florence that is, to all intents and purposes, a medieval gang war,” adds Mike. “And that the prop man who made the stocks in which Bobby Davro nearly died was a berk, with a thin grasp of physics.”

For Steff, his most startling discovery in the three months the podcast has been up and running is how Mike has lived the life he has in just 48 years.

“It’s remarkable,” laughs the broadcaster, a keen cyclist who recently won multiple awards for his documentary about Tour de France winner Geraint Thomas – Super G: How Geraint Won The Yellow Jersey.

“Elis thinks he’s led some sort of Quantum Leap-style existence. Whatever the subject matter or clip, Mike has a story to relate.

“I also loved it when we looked at a documentary which Elis chose called Home & Away, about Liverpool and Everton playing each other in the 1980s.

“We had this in-depth look at the socio-political climate on Merseryside during that period in between all of the laughter.”

For the future, there is plenty of good news for listeners – not least because the podcast is to continue beyond lockdown.

“We’ve been chatting to a lot of the big podcast-makers since the first episode was published and the guys at [UK media company] Global have been really supportive of the concept,” says Steff. “We’ve joined up with their DAX network, which hopefully means we can carry on the podcast longterm.

“We’re getting adverts for the pod on Radio X and LBC as part of the deal. The more sponsorships and advertisers we can attract, the longer we can keep the fun going.”

For the Welsh comedy talents, this unique podcast born out of lockdown has brought its own rewards and opportunities.

“It’s been brilliant,” says Mike, who is a regular fixture of Colin Murray’s Lockdown Lock Inn shows on BBC Radio Five Live. “I’m working more than I did before, I have more of a laugh, I see more of my wife and kids and I can have a beer in my bar every single night and a lie-in every single morning. Sorry, but it’s true.”

■ The Socially Distant Sports Bar is available through Spotify, Apple Podcasts and Google Podcasts. Follow @distantpod on Twitter

Elis and I are so unalike... he’s football, I’m rugby. He’s the Beatles, I’m Elvis. I’m a lover and a fighter, he’s neither. There are very few things we agree on

Mike Bubbins