I wanted to get across that people with disabilities do experience sex and relationships
Come As You Are is inspired by the true story of three friends who went on a road trip to a specialist Spanish brothel. LAURA HARDING finds out more.
THERE are plenty of movies about lifechanging trips, but perhaps none like the trip taken in the new film Come As You Are. Inspired by a true story, it follows three young men with disabilities who flee their over-protective parents for a road trip to a brothel that caters to people with special needs, in order to lose their virginity.
The film shines a light on an aspect of life as a person with disability that is rarely captured on film.
“That is exactly what I wanted to get across,” says Asta Philpot, who inspired the movie, “that people with disabilities do have these feelings and do experience all of this, and do enjoy friendship and sex and relationships.”
In 2006, when he was 24, Asta heard about a legal brothel with access for wheelchairs during a trip to Spain and paid it a visit. He later came back with two other people, one legally blind and the other paralysed in a motorcycle accident, who wanted the opportunity of a sexual encounter. They were accompanied by a BBC documentary team.
“When we set out to do the documentary and it was all completed, we really had no vision for a narrative feature,” he says. “But I think the reason for me wanting to go ahead with it is to get it to as big an audience as possible. There is a really deep ingrained message within the movie of unity and freedom and friendship.
“My friend died never having a sexual experience, and from that moment on I promised myself and the disability community that I would get this out there.”
The film follows Scotty (Grant Rosenmeyer), Matt (Hayden Szeto) and Mo (Ravi Patel) as they hit the road to Montreal accompanied by a nurse played by Gabourey Sidibe, but the project’s journey to the screen has not been an easy one.
“In terms of getting a movie made, there are easier pieces of material than one that has sex and disability,” says 29-year-old Grant.
It was a five-year struggle before the film finally came together in 2017, but he is hopeful that it would not have been such a battle if it was made now.
“The cultural conversation has shifted in such a way since we were trying to scrape the money together to do it. But the thinking at the time was there is no audience for a movie like this, they weren’t making movies like this.”
He is also aware that it is unlikely three able-bodied actors would also fill the main roles if it was given the green light in 2020.
“While making the best movie that we could, we also know now, we were watching and learning. I think the conversation is steadily burgeoning, but the disabled community is one that is grossly overlooked.
“Hopefully people now will be more open to stories like this and it will be much easier to tell a story like this with actors with disabilities.”
Asta, who is also an actor, was just glad the film was made at all.
“It’s a story that I wanted to get out there, I wanted it to come across well and so
Asta Philpot with Cherie Blair at Number 10 Downing Street in 2000 at a reception to mark the 10th birthday of the charity for disabled children, Whizz-Kidz. The film is inspired by his experiences
eloquently. The lead actors did that, they did the research diligently surrounding disability, they spent days and days and days in wheelchairs, Ravi Patel spent a lot of time researching the visually impaired and talking to people.
“I acknowledge and I admit that it’s a huge problem,” he continues. “I would love to go out there and play Batman, I would love to go out there and play Spider-Man, but those roles just aren’t for me.
“So I’ve been waiting years and years to get an acting role, and yes, I would love the lead in Come As You Are, but Grant stepped up to the plate. He
actually got the thing made and he played this part so incredibly beautifully and so did the other two actors.”
Grant spent a long time in a wheelchair to get ready to play the part, and even longer swapping notes with Asta, who has become a close friend.
Says Grant: “I will never complain, because there are people who have to be in that chair all the time and I can get up any time, so it was eyeopening in that regard.
“In terms of prep, I spent as much time as I could in the chair, I spent as much time with Asta, him coaching me on the positioning and how he used the chair and also the psychology of a character like this. It was a couple of months of us working together and making sure it was as authentic as possible.”
Asta was determined to convey the camaraderie and relationships accurately as well.
“We aren’t playing the old Coldplay in the background, or the violins,” he says wryly. “It’s a very funny film and they are taking the mick out of each other and joking around.
“People with disabilities have got to be integrated into society as much as possible, and be like every fellow human being. I don’t want to stand out, I may look different but I just want to be like everyone else.”
The cultural conversation has shifted in such a way since we were trying to scrape the money together to do it... the thinking at the time was there is no audience for a movie like this, they weren’t making movies like this.
Asta Philpot on the difficulties of getting his film made
■