Trans couple tell of baby journey amid pandemic
echo.newsdesk@walesonline.co.uk
HANNAH and Jake Graf became parents for the first time in April – making them the UK’s first transgendered couple to become parents in the process.
They welcomed their daughter, Millie, into the world just as lockdown regulations were at their peak.
Their journey has now been captured in a new Channel 4 documentary that leaves no stone unturned.
In regular confessionals, the couple admit that being transgender and in the public eye comes with worries and consequences.
“It’s impossible to be an openly transgender person in the public eye without getting hate directed towards you,” Hannah admitted.
Cardiff-born Hannah, formerly the highest-ranking transgender person in the British Army, and Jake, an actor and director, married in 2018 before deciding to become parents.
The couple used a surrogate to carry their baby after using an unknown sperm donor, who matched Hannah’s description, and Jake’s eggs, which had been frozen several years before when he stopped taking testosterone temporarily.
They were introduced to their surrogate, Laura, after the National Fertility Society heard them talking about trying to become parents on ITV’s Lorraine.
However, with their surrogate living in Northern Ireland, they faced a frantic dash to get across the Irish Sea just before Prime Minister Boris Johnson put the UK in lockdown.
Hannah said: “We threw everything into the car and embarked upon the 12-hour journey over to Belfast, and certainly breathed a sigh of relief when we reached our rented home at 2am, where we began an immediate self-isolation period. As it was for the rest of the UK, corona lockdown was uncharted territory, and we did the best that we could with the added pressure of impending parenthood.”
Jake added: “We were in this complete unknown, and then on top of that we were having a baby.
“It was a nerve-racking nine months, capped off by what felt like one of the highest-staked moments of our lives.”
The couple want the episode to offer hope to other transgender people who dream of having children. They pitched the idea to Channel 4 around 18 months ago.
Jake said: “I grew up without any trans representation. From the age of three or four I knew I was a boy but I didn’t see any positive role models, I didn’t see any hope for my future.
“I never thought I would find love, get married and certainly never thought I’d be lucky enough to become a parent.
“The show also aims to educate, not only about what it means to be transgender, but also about what it means to have a baby through surrogacy.”
The production company followed the couple around for one year and filmed every important moment along the way, from meeting their surrogate to every scan and phone call in between.
Towards the end of their journey, it was down to Hannah and Jake to film as the pandemic meant the camera crew could no longer travel with them. After consulting their local MP, travelling to London with their newborn was confirmed as essential and the family was able to fly home safely. Looking ahead to the Channel 4 documentary, the couple are pleased their story will be shown in an insightful and “sympathetic” way.
■ Our Baby: A Modern Miracle airs tonight at 10pm on 24/7, or can be seen on catch-up at All 4 (channel4.com)