‘The team was always on the other end of the phone’
In the first of a series of special Echo features to support this year’s City Hospice Light Up a Life campaign, we tell how the charity helped support cancer patient Kevin in his final months, and then provided bereavement care to his widow Sharon
SHARON sadly lost her husband Kevin in August 2019, after a three-year battle with oesophageal cancer.
Kevin was 62 and received support from City Hospice during his final months.
Described by his wife as loving, loyal and so very caring, Kevin and Sharon were married for 35 years, and enjoyed a lovely life together, surrounded by family and friends.
After showing worrying symptoms in August 2016, Kevin was sadly diagnosed with oesophageal cancer in March 2017.
After numerous sessions of chemotherapy and an operation to remove his oesophagus, Kevin was told he was cancer free in December 2017.
By the following February, Kevin started having trouble swallowing, and by May 2018 he was told the cancer had returned in his neck.
After more chemotherapy and radiotherapy and a long stint in hospital, Kevin was sadly told his cancer was terminal.
Speaking about the involvement of City Hospice, Sharon said: “Once Kev’s terminal diagnosis was made, we were passed over to the City Hospice palliative team, and soon met Kev’s palliate nurse.
“We were instantly reassured that she would only visit when we needed her but that the team was always on the other end of the phone.”
During his palliative care, Kevin made the remarkable decision to arrange and pay for his own funeral, taking the burden off his family.
Sharon added: “A couple of days after Kev came home we were lying in bed and we were chatting and he just came out with, ‘I want to arrange my funeral and need to start now, so we can put it all in a box and start living.’
“He also wanted to make the arrangements to help me, as
Kevin and Sharon he knew what I would be facing and wanted to make the time less stressful and heartbreaking for me – selfless to the end.
“Kev arranged absolutely everything, he even wrote his own letter to be read out by his brother-in-law to the congregation.
“No one was allowed to see or read it before the funeral. It was just like Kev was reading it to us all.
“On the day of the funeral, I felt so proud to be his wife. He had everything he could have wished for, if not more.
“The sun shone, the church was full to capacity, and it was the most beautiful place you could wish to lay. We even received donations of over £1,500 to be split between City Hospice and Holme Tower.”
Speaking about how City Hospice supported her following Kevin’s death, Sharon said: “After Kev’s passing, I had a lovely card from the team saying how sorry there were and inside was some information about the Bereavement Coffee Morning at the hospice, as well as one-to-one counselling.
“I was a bit reluctant in the beginning, thinking ‘I can deal with this on my own.’
“I had gone through so much in the past three years, I was strong enough to deal with losing Kev, but never was I so wrong.
“I decided to give the counselling a go, and after the second session I could see that it was really working for me.
“I saw Sue, my councillor, as my Kev. I would go in and just talk about everything and she would listen and help me to think about what was on my mind.
“I also really started to enjoy the coffee mornings as I could really relate to what other people were going through.
“All this has given me a focus and a reason. I’m thinking of taking a counselling course myself, so hopefully I can help at the hospice and give them something back for all they have done for us, as this was one of Kev’s wishes.
“Before he died, Kev said to me ‘eventually your friends and family will lose their partners too, and by doing this course, you can really be there for them when the time comes’, and so that’s exactly what I’m going to do.”
A donation made during the Light Up A Life campaign will make a world of difference to a family facing terminal illness in our community.
To donate visit www.city hospice.org.uk or call 029 2052 4150.