Not being able to visit care home residents ‘is cruelty’ – says widow
WIFE SAYS HER HUSBAND DIED OF A BROKEN HEART AFTER THEY WERE FORCED APART FOR ALMOST A YEAR
THE last time Lynn Parker held her husband’s hand was March 20, 2020.
Over in Alastair’s care home they had celebrated his 77th birthday only days earlier, a few months ahead of the couple’s 41st wedding anniversary.
Both Lynn, a retired nurse, and Alastair, a former police sergeant, had managed their struggles together in Risca after Alastair was diagnosed with progressive MS more than 10 years ago.
But neither could have prepared for the heartbreak and deterioration that a year forced apart due to the coronavirus pandemic and its affect on care home rules would cause before Alastair died on December 19 aged 77.
For Lynn there is no doubt about what happened – she is sure Alastair died of a broken heart, unable to properly see or touch the one he loved.
Lynn, 72, said: “It’s just a form of cruelty, it’s the only words I could use.
“Alastair, bless his heart, so needed me – particularly in the last two, three months of his life. I could see a huge difference in his mental capacity and I knew if I had only been allowed in he wouldn’t have died like he did.
“I nursed him for too long and I knew him inside out. I know he would have had a different view on things if I could have spent time with him.
“The hurt I feel about not being able to be there for him... it just hurt me when I could see in his eyes that he was giving up and I was losing him.
“I don’t think I’ll ever, ever be able to get rid of that sadness.
“I haven’t held Alastair’s hand since March 20th, that was the last time I was in his company. The next time I held his hand was when he was dead.”
This month marks 15 years since Lynn and Alastair moved back to Lynn’s hometown of Risca.
In a heartbreaking turn of events it was only nine months after that when the talented pianist, golfer and DIY perfectionist was diagnosed with progressive multiple sclerosis.
Since then, the pair remained by each other’s side, through thick and thin – with Lynn visiting her husband for up to six hours every day after his condition meant it was necessary for him to be moved to a care home in 2019.
When Alastair became reluctant to eat, drink or take his medication without Lynn there last year she would try to persuade him on Skype, but nothing could replace being there in person.
Lynn said: “I nursed him for over 13 years at home and then obviously when it was impossible for me to continue, I promised him, I vowed to him I would never leave his side and I didn’t.
“I almost lived there for five or six hours every day. When they took that away from him he didn’t have anything to live for really.
“His history of sepsis was cruel, he’d had sepsis five times. And I’ve been sat out resus rooms saying this could be it but somehow that feeling wasn’t as drastic as what I’ve been feeling over the last year because I was in control, I was with him.
“I never left his side, I visited every day in hospital from 10 in the morning to half past six in the night to give him his drinks and his food and his tablets because the nurses were so busy.”
After the first lockdown of 2020 came to an end, tentative movements were made to allow visitors to see loved ones in care home across Wales.
On November 23, Senedd members Julie Morgan and Eluned Morgan announced that pilot care homes would trial the use of 20-minute lateral flow coronavirus tests and the use of self-contained visiting pods to help residents and family members to spend time together.
In Lynn’s view, however, such decisions were taken too late, especially in the case of her husband. While she stressed that Alastair’s care home was not at fault, she described how carers were limited to what they could do under Welsh Government policy.
During one assessment in May, Alastair passed with flying colours before poignantly telling the assessor that the thing he wanted most of all was to see Lynn.
She said: “[Outdoor visits] were at 2m with a carer with him. He was resident in a nursing home, it was a very complex unit so obviously there were very poorly residents.
“If anyone spiked a temperature that was it, lockdown, and that was in and out, in and out. I couldn’t even drive into the car park to drop off his favourite bits and bobs.
“It was half an hour through a glass door where you needed to shout for them to hear you properly. It was so unnatural, it didn’t feel right in any way.”
Describing the day of Alastair’s death, Lynn added: “I spoke to him an hour before I had the phone call to say he passed away. I was on Skype to him and on that same morning I’d had an email from the nursing home saying visiting on Christmas morning would go ahead for half an hour behind glass.
“I managed to tell him that and he did give me a little grin. [I said] I’m not sure yet what I’ll be wearing, maybe I’ll come as a fairy, so at least I’ll see you on Christmas Day. And an hour later I got the call.
“I’d put my life on the fact that I know, nobody will convince me of anything other, that he had given up.
“Even the funeral was difficult. Noone could come back for a coffee or glass of wine or anything, everyone had to disperse.”
By bravely speaking out about her loss, Lynn is advocating for changes to visiting rules in Welsh care homes.
Currently, Welsh Government guidance states that “visits in exceptional circumstances such as end of life should continue”.
In Lynn’s case she believes allowing one nominated family member into a care home, dressed in full PPE, would have made the world of difference.
It comes after John’s Campaign launched a legal challenge against care home government guidance last year in England. At the time co-founder Nicci Gerard argued that preventing visits to residents, especially those with dementia, posed a risk of causing irreversible damage.
Lynn said: “This phrase ‘end of life’ [visits] is so awful. How do we know when end of life is? I was looking at Alastair and I knew I was losing him. It didn’t seem as drastic as end of life, but it obviously ended up that way.
“They say visits are not only end of life but for exceptional cases. Well who defines that? I found from looking at my husband it was definitely an exceptional case because I was losing him, but nobody will cross that line.
“In the end I had nothing good or uplifting to tell Alastair. I had no positive points to make – that it won’t be long, or they’re saying this in two or three weeks... nothing ever came of it.
“Alastair was cocooned in his care home obviously. I haven’t been out shopping since September 6, that was the last time. I could see the complacency in shoppers and I thought I can’t risk this.
“If I can prove I am clean, when they say I could go in I could go in with a clear conscious. I’ve got no-one at home, I drive to see Alastair, I don’t use public transport, and that was my whole aim, and still nothing.”
Paying tribute to Alastair, Lynn said: “He was a lovely, lovely man and a good husband.
“We understood each other, I think with our jobs we appreciated a lot about life. He was such a laid-back, easygoing, dry-witted man, a clever man – he was very clever.”
A Welsh Government spokesman said: “We recognise the importance of people in care homes being able to meet their family and loved ones and we are considering how to allow more indoor visits given the success of our vaccine rollout to care home residents and workers.
“In the meantime, while we are at alert level four, indoor visits should only take place in exceptional circumstances. These include – but are not limited to – end of life.
“This has been the case throughout the pandemic period.
“Care homes are asked to consider such requests sensitively and on an individual basis. At Alert Level 4, outdoor visits and visits in a visitor pod can take place after a risk assessment has taken place.”
A MAN who died after being given infected blood was called “thick” and a “moaner” by the boss of a charity which was supposed to be helping him get justice.
Haydn Lewis died in 2010 of liver cancer caused by hepatitis after he was given contaminated blood products by the NHS in 1984.
But in the years before his death, he’d been fighting to get compensation for what became known as the infected blood scandal. It was while he worked with the governmentestablished Macfarlane Trust that the “totally disgraceful” language was used to describe Mr Lewis.
Peter Stevens, who chaired the Macfarlane Trust, admitted his comments about Mr Lewis, which were set out in an email to another member, were totally inappropriate.
After receiving an email from Mr Lewis in relation to the work of the charitable trust, Mr Stevens wrote to another member: “It is irritating that someboyd [sic] so thick can come up with such meddlesome suggestions.”
Mr Lewis was one of around 5,000 haemophiliacs who contracted HIV and hepatitis from infected blood in the 1970s and 80s, a scandal that is still rumbling on today.
Mr Lewis became a campaigner for justice after he and his brother Gareth both contracted HIV and hepatitis following transfusions in 1984. The brothers tragically died within months of each other.
Mr Steven’s comments came to light as he gave evidence to the Infected Blood Inquiry last Wednesday.
Mr Stevens also wrote in a private email how the trust had nurtured “that lot of moaners”, referring to beneficiaries including Mr Lewis and his brother and one other, and referred to some as “thick”.
Challenged whether it was appropriate to describe a beneficiary of the Macfarlane Trust in such a way, Mr Stevens said it was “totally inappropriate” and a “disgraceful use of language”.
Mr Stevens said the use of the words was “deeply tragic” and he had travelled with other members of the Macfarlane Trust to Cardiff to apologise to Haydn and Gareth Lewis.
He said that afterwards the trust “apologised for the use of our language, for what we said, and the apology was accepted, and thereafter we carried on normal relationships with these people”.
When asked why he had used those terms, Mr Stevens told the inquiry: “I don’t know. It was too early in the morning to say I had been drinking.
“Haydn and I had engaged in considerable email communications and Haydn’s were always long and verbose and quite trying to read at different times, and this was the culmination of a long series of communications which had probably tried my patience.”
After a meeting where Haydn Lewis was present, Mr Stevens wrote to a colleague: “What a monumental waste of time, not just this afternoon, but all the previous hours spent nurturing that group of moaners.”
In another email, Mr Stevens discussed whether or not the trust should provide the same level of support for other family members of haemophiliacs who had also contracted HIV.
In it he wrote: “That would be a way of p*ssing off the Lewis contingent.”
He admitted to the inquiry that he knew that Haydn’s wife had been infected with HIV but added: “I was simply saying it as a throwaway remark to a friend.”
The trust was wound up in 2017, seven years after Mr Lewis’ death.
Before he died, Mr Lewis had also been a member of the organisation Tainted Blood which fought hard for compensation to be paid by the government for the blood scandal victims.
The independent inquiry, which will examine why people were given infected blood and/or infected blood products; the impact on their families; how the authorities (including government) responded; the nature of any support provided following infection; questions of consent; and whether there was a cover-up, continues.
A RUGBY player assaulted a man at a rugby club Christmas party after an egg was smashed over his head following a drinking game.
Macauley Dimmick, 24, punched victim Christopher Prosser a number of times to the face in an attack which was caught on CCTV in Fleur de Lys Rugby Club near Blackwood.
The incident took place after Mr Prosser smashed an egg over Dimmick’s head as a joke following a drinking game at a Fleur de Lys women’s team rugby Christmas party on December 22, 2019.
After heading to his home nearby to shower and change clothes rugby player Dimmick returned and made a beeline to his victim, who offered his hand in an attempt to apologise, and punched him to the face until he was pulled away by friends.
As a result of the assault Mr Prosser sustained a fractured nose and eye socket and has now lost his sense of taste and smell.
A sentencing hearing at Cardiff Crown
Court yesterday heard the victim had two eggs smashed over his head as part of the drinking game and he smashed an egg on the defendant’s partner’s head.
When he went to the bar Mr Prosser noticed Dimmick and his friends laughing at him so he smashed an egg over the defendant’s head.
Prosecutor Laurence Jones said: “Everyone was drunk and it was done in jest and good spirits but the defendant took offence, got angry, and said: ‘Get away from me or I’m going to kill you.’”
Mr Prosser attempted to apologise to Dimmick on a number of occasions but was rebuffed. The defendant went home to change while Mr Prosser stayed at the club and continued drinking.
Mr Jones said: “The defendant reentered the clubhouse and walked towards him with a stern walk. [Mr Prosser] offered his hand to the defendant and again apologised but the defendant ignored this. He was then assaulted by the defendant with a number of punches.”
As a result of the assault Mr Prosser drifted in and out of consciousness and was looked after by bar staff before he was taken to Prince Charles Hospital in Merthyr
Tydfil by ambulance where he received treatment for a number of facial fractures.
In a victim personal statement read out to the court Mr Prosser said he was left unable to taste and smell and had lost feeling in parts of his face.
He added: “Emotionally I feel I cannot leave the safety of my home alone and I need to have someone with me all the times. If I pass a large man with tattoos I feel at risk of harm. I struggle to understand how a silly prank escalated to this.”
The defendant, of Twynyffald Road, Cefn Fforest, Blackwood, later pleaded guilty to inflicting grievous bodily harm (GBH).
In mitigation the court heard Dimmick had worked for all of his adult life and helped to care for his father.
Sentencing Recorder Mark Powell QC said: “You are normally a valuable member of society and have helped your family with the difficulties your father has experienced.
“You lost control because of your anger. Alcohol did not play a part in this offence.”
Dimmick was sentenced to 12 months’ imprisonment suspended for 18 months and was ordered to pay £5,000 in compensation to Mr Prosser.
JURORS hearing the trial of seven people accused of the murder of a teenager found dead in a dockyard have heard closing speeches on behalf of more defendants.
The alleged members of an “armed and deadly gang” are accused of killing Cardiff teenager Harry Baker who was found in Barry Intermodal Terminal on August 28, 2019. The 17-yearold was discovered bloodied, stripped, and covered in stab wounds.
Leon Clifford, 23, Peter McCarthy, 37, and Ryan Palmer, 34, Lewis Evans 62, and Raymond Thompson, 48, who are all from Barry, as well as Leon Symons, 22, from Ely, in Cardiff, and a 17-year-old from Cardiff who cannot be named for legal reasons all deny murder and are on trial at Newport Crown Court.
All of the defendants except Clifford and Evans are also charged with violent disorder, which they deny, while Evans alone faces a charge of assisting an offender, which he denies.
Yesterday, Symons’ barrister Jonathan Rees QC said “loss is not uncommon in his world and is felt more deeply than might at first seem”. The barrister referred to a list drawn up by the defendant called Deaths In My Life and said: “There were 12 people on that list including his father, nephew, best friend, and grandmother.”
Mr Rees added: “You know carrying a blade was part of his world – not uncommon with people in this case, including Harry Baker and [his associate] Louis Johnson. Carrying a blade appears to have become a part of the drug dealer’s kit, as well as a face covering or a hood, or a cap over the eyes. Sensible when supplying Class A drugs.
“You know he has been convicted of carrying a knife, making threats, and two offences of common assault and battery. Relatively minor offences and possibly unsurprising for a man selling drugs on the street and carrying a knife
“It does not show a past history of causing injury or at all, with a knife or otherwise.”
Mr Rees said Symons, who did not give evidence during the trial, had told police “there was no plan to attack Harry Baker but he was the one surprised by Harry Baker and Louis Johnson while doing a drug deal”.
Mark Cotter QC, representing Peter McCarthy, also addressed the jury yesterday. He told them that “presence at the scene does not automatically equate to guilt”.
He said: “Peter McCarthy was in that yard – that does not in itself make him guilty of anything. You must sure he committed murder or encouraged and assisted with an aim to cause death or grievous bodily harm.”
He said while his client was a “hopeless drug addict” he was not a dealer. “He did not have a patch to protect and he didn’t need to kill anyone to get drugs.
“He had a life – not much of a life but a life nonetheless. He was obtaining drugs on a daily basis year after year after year without the need to kill someone.
“There was and is no gang involving Peter McCarthy – there were drug dealers and junkies.
“He was not hunting for Harry Baker and did not need to get involved in a planned attack to obtain drugs.”
Mr Cotter also discussed forensic evidence. He said: “Harry Baker’s clothes were removed from his body. It would be a racing certainty you’d get his blood or Harry Baker’s DNA on you.
But he added: “They did not find a single drop of Harry Baker’s blood on anything connected with Peter McCarthy. The absence of a forensic link supports the account he has given.”
Thomas Crowther QC, who represents the youth defendant, said his client had “been described as manipulative, calculated, and shrewd” and accused of being a murderer.
“He was and is a child. Why should we regard him as a child? Because the law says he is,” said Mr Crowther.
He said the youth was “under the spell” of Symons. Mr Crowther also told the jury it could not be proven the youth had entered the yard where Mr Baker was found dead, adding: “If you take the view [the youth] didn’t or
might not have gone into the yard [the prosecution] will fail because it will prove he did all he could to withdraw from it.”
On Friday, prosecutor Paul Lewis QC concluded his closing speech to the jury. During the prosecution closing speech Mr Lewis said it was the Crown’s case that all defendants are guilty of murder “and it matters not who wielded the knife”.
Mr Lewis told the jury: “What is plain is the attack on Harry was ferocious. The pathologist found Harry suffered nine wounds caused by sharp objects. There were slash wounds and stab wounds.”
The trial, before Mr Justice Picken, continues.