Why it’s so important to schedule in some ‘me time’
There has never been a more important time to put yourself first. To check in, see how you’re feeling, think about what you need, and schedule in some time just for you. So, what happens if you find it almost impossible to do?
“We think ‘me time’ needs to be grand or elaborate, so it overwhelms us and we don’t make a start,” says psychologist and wellbeing expert, Suzy Reading, whose book Self-care In Tough Times (£12.99, Aster) is out in paperback now.
“We get distracted by all the other things that need doing and our health doesn’t get a look in – after all, we’re worthy when we’re being productive, right?”
People often feel guilty about taking time out, or feel they have to earn it first, she continues: “We have to see our ‘to do’ list through to completion before we can stop – and our ‘to do’ list today is endless, so when is there ever a ‘good’ time to rest?”
Psychotherapist Toby Ingham (tobyingham.com) says the pandemic has been a very difficult and disorienting experience for many of us: “In one way, we have more time at home, but in another, it becomes hard to enjoy that time. Also, busy people tend to fixate on the things they should be doing and on accomplishing tasks. This mentality can be hard to shift. However, this is a learned behaviour – as children, ‘me time’ was usually play time – and was not associated with guilt.
“It was a time to have fun.”
WHAT IS ‘ME TIME’?
Not knowing where to start is a genuine barrier. “Relaxation is a bit of a lost art,” says Suzy, “so people need easy and accessible inspiration on bringing me time back into everyday life – and not equating me time with screen time.”
Me time can be absolutely anything. Exercise or stretching, a walk in the woods, listening to a podcast, cooking while listening to your favourite songs, reading, journaling, creating any kind of art, having a bath, doing some breathwork, singing – literally anything that makes you happy.
HOW CAN I START?
Suzy recommends beginning by recognising that me time is essential for coping with the stress and anxiety of daily life.
“It’s not just ‘nice to have’, it’s vital; but to dial down guilt, we need to connect with what me time facilitates in our life.” Think of it as making you a better parent, a more productive colleague or a happier partner.
She also suggests choosing practices that don’t take up huge chunks of time. Try dotting little micro moments of me time into your day: “A single yoga pose, a few savoured sips of your cuppa, green gazing out the window, massaging in some hand balm after washing your hands, a few mountain breaths, one song to lift your mood...”
Set yourself a challenge to enjoy five minutes of me time every day, or 30 minutes three times a week – some people find it easier to stick to it that way.
Diarise white space, so you can fill it with an activity of your choosing – it rarely happens on its own, concludes Suzy.
“Don’t let a moment of peace pass you by unnoticed – choose how you spend it. Do it even if you feel guilty. The washing can wait.”