Sister says bereaved families ‘need more support’
A YOUNG woman whose 21-year-old brother took his own life has backed calls for immediate bereavement support to be given to grieving families – while praising the work of a South Wales-based charity.
Heartbroken Katie Crimmins was just 18 when she discovered her older brother Kieran had died following his disappearance in Milford Haven, in March 2019.
Despite the best efforts of NHS staff at Withybush Hospital in Haverfordwest, Kieran – described as “the loveliest, most caring and giving lad” – was unable to be saved.
Kieran, who had become a dad less than two years earlier and was a keen DJ and fisherman, had suffered with mental health issues including depression and PTSD for many years. His family said he struggled to access the professional help he needed.
They claim there were also problems in transferring his care from child and adolescent mental health services (CAMHS) to adult mental health services.
In the immediate aftermath of his death on March 26, 2019, Katie said no support was given to the family by hospital staff, leaving them to deal with the unimaginable grief themselves.
“There was no support at all. There was nobody. We were just left by ourselves in the hospital,” she said.
“The only support we had that evening was from each other, and there were particular staff members that we knew personally, so we had some help off them but nothing else.”
Thankfully the family were aware of the charity 2Wish set up by Rhian Mannings, a mum who lost her baby son and hus- band five days apart in 2012, and con- tacted them.
The Llantrisantbased charity works with every health board and police force in Wales to put immediate bereavement support pathways in place in every emergency and critical care unit. It also works with every coroner, mortuary, organ donation team and Wales Air Ambulance. Since 2015, more than 960 families have received support.
“My mum was aware of Rhian and she knew about the support 2Wish provided. We were able to get in contact with them. A lot of families would have had no idea about the charity,” Katie added.
“We were provided with counselling services, so we were able to speak about what had happened and how we felt instead of just bottling it all up. If we hadn’t been provided that I wouldn’t like to think how our lives would be looking now.
“My family has had to see and do things which no family should have to see or do. As hard as it is we just have to carry on and live our lives as best as we can.”
Nearly two years ago 2Wish founder Rhian Mannings, from Miskin, Pontyclun, presented a 5,500-strong petition to the Senedd calling on the Welsh Government to provide immediate support to families of children aged 25 and under who die suddenly. There is currently no official bereavement support for these families in Wales.
On Wednesday, following a significant delay due to the coronavirus pandemic, a debate on the subject was held during plenary where Members of the Senedd spoke passionately about the need to improve bereavement services.
Jack Sargeant, the new chairman of the Senedd’s petitions committee, said the debate resonated with him personally following the sudden loss of his father, former Assembly Member Carl Sargeant, in November 2017. He said Wales could “lead the way” in bereavement support.
“Without an offer of support families who have just lost a child are left on their own to cope. Some are given information leaflets about services, which places the onus on them to reach out and find the appropriate support available for their need,” he said.
“They face answerphone messages, long waiting times and the possibility that the organisations listed on those pieces of paper might be unable to support them. This causes feelings of isolation, loneliness and low selfworth.”
Mr Sargeant added that the number of referrals to 2Wish had increased every single year since it was established, however he said there were examples of families still falling through the cracks.
“So many bereavement services, including by 2Wish, are run by charities and the petitions committee has received concerns about the lack of public funding for the services these organisations provide. Despite referring people to these services, health boards do not currently provide any funding to 2Wish.
“We as a committee believe this is something which could, and should, be addressed by the Welsh Government.”
Speaking about the petition, Rhian Mannings explained: “There is no planning or preparation prior to a sudden death and the effect of traumatic loss can have a huge impact on the mental health of parents, siblings and other family members.
“We believe this support is essential and will prevent families walking out into the night with no hope, no support and most importantly without their child.
“I know from speaking to staff and families that our service is changing lives for everyone involved in the sudden death of a child or young adult and we want the Welsh Government to ensure all families get the offer of support when needed most.”
The Welsh Government announced last month that a new national framework for the delivery of bereavement care in Wales has been developed in partnership with charities and third sector organisations and backed by a £1m support grant. An additional £420,000 will be provided to health boards to support the implementation of a new set of bereavement standards.
Deputy Minister for Mental Health and Wellbeing, Lynne Neagle, said: “The aim of our new bereavement framework is to ensure everyone has access to high-quality bereavement care when and where they need it. I want to thank all the charities, third sector organisations and individuals who have contributed to this important piece of work. They will help us use the £1m bereavement fund to shape and improve services.”
Ms Neagle said during the debate that she agreed to work with Rhian and 2Wish to ensure immediate support pathways are implemented.
Since Kieran’s sudden death, sister Katie has been raising thousands of pounds for both 2Wish and Get the Boys a Lift, a free counselling service based in Haverfordwest. She took part in the Llanelli Half Marathon on October 31 and has previously run two other half marathons.
Katie, now 21, said the fundraising has helped keep her brother’s memory alive and helped promote mental health awareness for other young people across Wales. To donate to her cause please go here.
“People who are struggling still aren’t getting the support they need,” she added.
“And I think when families do find themselves in the position we were in, that bereavement support should be offered by NHS staff at that time in the hospital environment. We shouldn’t have had to search for it ourselves.
“Kieran’s death will stay with us forever. People say it will get better but it doesn’t really. You just learn to live with it.”
For confidential support the Samaritans can be contacted for free around the clock 365 days a year on 116 123.
There was no support at all. There was nobody. We were just left by ourselves in the hospital
Katie Crimmins