Shop’s tongue-in-cheek advert for new staff raises a few eyebrows
A DESSERT shop has posted a brutally honest job advert that people have been calling “the best job advert ever”.
Shorties in Cwmbran published the advertisement on its Facebook account, for an “awesome assistant manager, who wants a f ****** job.”
The owners say they’ve wasted their time and money in the past and asks for someone “that can hit the ground running, and not have to be told again and again”.
Those with managerial experience and around two years minimum of hospitality experience are encouraged to apply, however they must also have “no coke, crack, or drink problem”.
The role includes supporting the store manager, supervising shifts, and looking after customer experience, however there’s also a long list of what the owners don’t want in their new hire.
The job advert reads: “We need someone that can hit the ground running, and not have to be told again and again, we’ve wasted so much time and money, we just want someone who has a work ethic to succeed, commitment and accountability!
“If you’ve got the experience within a managerial role within hospitality, let’s say two years as a minimum requirement, with no coke, crack habit or drink problem or wants to use the shop to peddle their drugs, and definitely someone who hasn’t got mould under their finger nails or nails like samurai swords, I think then that’s a good start, after all we are a food establishment.”
It continues: “Is it too much to ask that someone is fully committed, wanting to kick a*** and help us grow our brand, who takes things on board and works with us and not against us, if that sounds like you – then get in touch, we want our potential superstar who will come to an interview looking casually presentable and on time and not look like they’ve been dragged through a hedge with the motivation of a sloth.”
For those fortunate enough to land an interview, the business advises: “You can’t bring your friend, dog, or cat to the interview either, and don’t even think of walking through the door with a can of f ****** Monster in your hand – I think you catch my drift.”
Answering the most important question, they say: “It’s not f ****** minimum wage, and no I’m not putting how much as it depends on experience and other things, there are many factors to consider. Could be 30-45% above minimum wage, but it’s all based on experience and what can be offered.”
Other details of the job of course are the hours. They say: “Hours, pay etc to be discussed, this role will involve a 30-35 hour contract, on a rota basis, and will be evenings – just to clear that up .... Start times 5-5.30pm and finish times are typically 11pm. So you’ll be missing your Emmerdale and all that s **** .
The owner of the store is Phillip
Shortman, who became notorious for a series of eBay scams that saw him brought for the courts repeatedly and led to him being described by a judge as “a cheap confidence trickster, and
You can’t bring your friend, dog, or cat to the interview either, and don’t even think of walking through the door with a can of f ****** Monster in your hand – I think you catch my drift The job advert
not a very good one at that, as he keeps getting caught”.
When the Echo contacted him for a comment, he put a public message on the shop’s Facebook page in which he said he did not want to speak to the press and addressed his past fraud convictions, saying he was trying to build a new life.
He wrote: “While wanting a relatively quiet life and wanting to move forward, which is quite ironic for a foul-mouthed and uneducated individual, I have a very chequered and off-putting past, and will openly admit that. I have been in many different press outlets, over a number of years, and have been to prison numerous times.
“Released in 2016, I’ve wanted to work and graft, and overcome the issues I had, and I’ll come onto this further on, I was an extremely selfish person, and was young, and being in prison for so many years on and off, doesn’t allow you to mature because of your surroundings. I would do what I only knew best at that time, I was stuck in a revolving door.”
He continued, explaining the difficulties that followed his conviction, he said: “When released my probation officer said that he had no doubt in his mind that I would be back in.” However, he said he “built himself up over the years” which led to the opening of the business he now runs.
He wrote: “It’s been a hell of a journey, I’ve tarnished myself, my family, and the family name, but all I can do is move forward, what else am I supposed to do?
“I have done what I have done, I can’t change this, and this is the only issue I have, people don’t want you to move forward, they want to constantly bring the past up and keep you there, and I’ve tried to protect myself from these types of people during the time running Shorties.”
Referencing the job advert, he explained: “It’s all a bit of fun, it’s the things that people want to say or do but can’t, yes I want to get exposure and get more customers, how else can staff and overheads get paid otherwise! Everyone bangs on about the negatives, but what about the positives – bringing employment opportunities to the local community, brightening people’s days by our posts etc.
“We can’t please everyone, we’ve done the ‘being professional’ and we lost 20-30% custom, the way we run our socials is not exactly how the shop is run, we do not abuse staff or mistreat them, but we are a business and here to make money and eventually turn a profit.
“My staff are priority, and everything is logged, and we have CCTV throughout which every business has, but I’ve got extra because of my past and wanting to protect staff and the public, as subconsciously I am aware of my past and would rather be over the top to protect everyone including myself if the need ever arises.
“If we lose custom over this, then that is on my shoulders, but I’m fed up of trying to play hide and seek, when trying to move forward, and having people drag the past up, as that’s the only ammunition these people have.”