Dads frown on inappropriate behaviour – unless it makes us laugh
‘A time and a place for everything’ is a phrase the twins struggle to embrace.
As an adult, I’ve grasped the fundamentals and will refrain from certain behaviours at times others may feel inappropriate. Although, I’m still shaving, ‘styling’ my hair and occasionally trimming nose hair in the car outside work, as it’s impossible to achieve anything at home.
I try to park away from the building but to onlookers, this might not be the time or place for a beauty regime.
Unfortunately, the twins are a long way from recognising the signs of appropriateness. For example, we might be going out for the day, and they will invariably fight over who gets which car seat, then end up sitting on each other, so I will wrestle one into a spare spot and click the belt in.
Thomas will then leap over the back seat, through a gap in an ineffective parcel shelf and hide in the boot.
I will retrieve him from his hiding spot, only to discover Emma has unclipped her belt and is now in the driving seat pretending to be daddy.
This process can take up to 10 minutes and it’s funny on a relaxed
Saturday morning when I might laugh – but far from amusing on a wet Tuesday at 7.30am, when I’m late for work, but they haven’t grasped timing and look surprised when I express frustration or start crying.
To be honest, this theme continues into pretty much any facet of their lives.
Teeth brushing involves endless time chasing them around with a toothbrush, where they run, giggle and scream, when all I want to do is leave the house.
Drying hair, dressing, getting washed are all vital tasks they transform into games, but I do struggle with the
concept of fun when I’m tired.
This mixed message of acceptability based on how I feel can confuse them, but they’re always on safe ground with dancing in a supermarket.
It’s something I’ve encouraged for a while despite it being neither the time nor the place to pull some moves.
This became very apparent when Thomas attempted an overly ambitious spin and fell into an artfully stacked display of Pringles, sending both him and them flying. Inappropriately timed statements in public are also something I don’t encourage, but never exactly discourage. ‘Look, Daffy Duck,’ Emma said, ‘on that lady’s bottom’, pointing to a tattoo on the woman next to us. It was more her lower back than bottom, but let’s just end with there’s always a time and a place for making me laugh out loud when we’re stuck in a long queue for yet more overpriced ice cream.