Is she a mum chum or your forever friend?
CAROLINE OUTLINES HOW CORCORAN TO TELL WHETHER YOUR FRIENDSHIP WILL BE OVER BEFORE YOUR CHILD’S COLIC, OR YOU’LL BE MATES IN 10 YEARS’ TIME
IT MIGHT have been over Zoom during lockdown or face to face beforehand, but when we become mums, we tend to meet lots of other women in very quick succession. In fact, between NCT classes, baby music, mum friend apps, the eight week course of buggy fit and those (ridiculously) pricey swimming lessons, there’s not many times in life when we make as many new mates.
While at first, we’re grateful for anyone who’ll let us ask 43 questions on sleep training, dummies and how on earth to wrap that sling around our front without seeing our baby drop through the middle, over time we start to need more.
We want mum friends we can have non-parenting chats with because we’d be friends even if it weren’t for our babies.
Here’s how to tell that you’ve got one in your life who may well stick around beyond the newborn years… You can exchange messages that don’t involve sterilising wisdom or nappy analysis FIND yourself messaging her to talk about that Netflix show you’re both obsessed with or the thriller she recommended last week and you’re onto a winner.
It’s one thing being able to share a tub of coconut oil at baby massage, while exchanging notes on your exhaustion levels, but in a year’s time if you and her are sitting in a pub, no-one is going to want to chat about nappies.
She mixes it up THAT Friday coffee gets quietly replaced by a cold bottle of Pinot Grigio. She persuades you to swerve buggy fit to come round and watch back-to-back Love Island while the babies sleep by your feet on a den she made from cushions. You know the one.
The woman’s a maverick and you’re a little bit in love. Blatant acts of kindness THERE are many women who will sit next to you in a circle singing Wind The Bobbin Up and making small talk about your child’s cute babygrow. There aren’t many women who will hold your crying baby as well as their own while you go for a desperate wee/emergency carrot cake/two-minute sit down in an empty room.
If you find one of these ones, hold on to her. She makes you laugh... a lot AMIDST the 3am feed complaints, the poo-stained changing bags and the bone-deep tiredness of the newborn phase, there is a lot to laugh at.
It’s honestly a treasure trove. If you find someone who you can do that with you’re onto a longterm thing. Daytime meet-ups will give way to evenings at the pub WHEN you realise that you aren’t just seeing her because you want someone – anyone – to fill a few hours after nap time on a lonely Tuesday, but actually want to speak to her, in a world where a chat doesn’t get disrupted every three minutes? That’s friendship.
Especially if you’re willing to get to bed later than your normal maternity leave time of 8.30pm to enjoy it.
Find yourself messaging her to talk about that Netflix show... you’re onto a winner.