Can we please say ‘farewell’ to ‘my lovely’?*

HAVE you ever stopped to consider that during the course of any one week, you will probably interact with dozens of individuals you don’t know personally, but nevertheless have dealings that need an exchange of words, even the odd pleasantry, however brief?

I’d be very surprised if you had stopped to consider such an oddball question, because you should know by now that it’s my job to concern myself with oddball questions so that you don’t have to.

So, let me list just some of the people outside our circle of friends and family who we might speak to in the next seven days.

Shop assistants, car cleaners, traffic wardens, barbers and ladies’ hairdressers, pub landlords and staff, doctors and dentist’s receptionists, postmen and women, waiters and waitresses, supermarket check-out staff, newsagents, delivery drivers…the end is listless!

Having established that we’ll probably converse with, at a guess, at least 30 people between now and this time next week, how would you like them to address you?

Anyone who works in an environment where they deal with the public should be aware some older people are sensitive about how they’re addressed. ‘Sir’ or ‘Madam’ is fine. ‘Luv’ or ‘Darling’ acceptable. ‘Sweetheart’ a complete no-no. A friend of mine, who jokingly claims “I went prematurely grey at the age of 65”, reckons he only began feeling old when shop assistants started calling him “My lovely”.

When it happened again last week at a branch of a well-known High Street store, he had had enough and decided to make a stand for all the grey and white-haired people in the world!

After he had paid for his books and newspapers, he politely said through his mask to the young lady assistant who had called him ‘My Lovely’ three times, “I hope you don’t mind me saying that many of us find being called ‘My Lovely’ very patronising, especially as I’m not particularly lovely myself. So, if you could remember that next time you serve an older person, it would be…”

. . . and without thinking, he suddenly found himself saying… “Lovely”!