Lily finds that age matters in the sex therapy business
A SEX therapist said she had to age her online photo by 20 years to stop male clients hitting on her.
The Swansea-based 38-year-old, who asked to be named only as Lily S, said that within no time of advertising her services online she was being bombarded by requests to go out on a date.
Some prospective patients even sent her unsolicited photos of their naked genitals.
“They’d ask, ‘Am I too big or too small?’, but I suspect that anxiety about their size isn’t the real motivation behind them sending me ‘d*** pics’,” said Lily S, who trained as a sexologist in her home country of Russia before moving to Wales a year ago.
The former Muscovite, who’s a member of the European Federation of Sexology, added that the problem started shortly after she began posting her details on Facebook and local classified ad sites like Gumtree in order to find new clients.
“For some reason I’d get lots of offers from men wanting to go on a date,” she said.
“Virtually straightaway I’d find myself being asked out.
“Or they’d book an online video consultation and expect me to perform the function of some kind of webcam girl, rather than an online psychologist.
“Some expected me to take my clothes off or would ask me if I wanted them to start undressing. I found it really shocking and upsetting and would end the call each time.
“It also put me off meeting any clients face to face because I was too worried about how things might turn out.”
As a result she decided to alter her social media profile photo, ageing her appearance by some 20 years.
“I’m not a model, just a moderately nice-looking woman,” she pointed out.
“But I wondered if by making myself appear much older I’d get taken more seriously.
“So I used a face change app that made me look like I was in my late 50s and posted that instead.
“Initially the idea made me laugh and I didn’t take it seriously, but I noticed a difference almost straightaway.
“The new clients who came on board after the new photo went up were more serious and their attitude much more respectful to what I’d experienced before.”
However, Lily S added that she now finds herself in a Catch-22 situation.
“On the one hand I’ve filtered out the nuisances, but on the other hand I’m not getting as many people contacting me,” she said.
“It’s frustrating to think this kind of ageism and sexual attitudes still exist in this day and age.
“I only hope that, at some point in the future, all that will change.
“A woman should be considered professional regardless of what she looks like and how old she might be.”