Grandad’s back at the business end of babycare
AS LIFE-CHANGING moments go, this one is a biggie. Down the years, I’ve quite happily sung along to Clive Dunn’s Grandad and the St Winifred’s School Choir’s There’s Noone Quite Like Grandma.
But I never really pictured myself as a grandparent.
Thankfully, darling daughter and husband had other ideas on that score – and we’ve now been blessed with our first grandchild.
Baby Alys arrived at 7lb 13oz and is doing very well, thank you very much.
It goes (almost) without saying that we love her to bits – she’s a treasure and will be three weeks old on Sunday.
Alys will, of course, be taking over the role previously occupied by the darling wife, aka Mrs Lloyd.
Mrs L was the recognised Head of the Household, but from now on it will be Alys calling the shots. It’s been a busy time, of course. Alys’ dad went back to work after his short paternity break this week, so “Grandfather Lloyd” has stepped up to the plate and taken a week off work to embark on his babycare retraining course.
First up on the agenda has been a choice of names for the Welsh grandparents. The Welsh language offers extra choices in this department – Mamgu and Tadcu or Nain and Taid – and, to leave the field open for the England-based wing of the family, we’ve opted for Mam and Tadcu.
Nana and Bampi were mentioned as options, but we’ll stick with Mam and Tadcu/dadcu... until Alys decides to call us something totally different!
It’s been 29 years or so since I last changed a nappy, so the first part of the babycare retraining programme focused on the business end of baby.
This turns out to be easier than I recall from years back, when washable and reusable Terry cloth nappies were used.
Back in the day, the nappy department was my responsibility – particularly in the wee small hours when Mrs L was getting some well-earned rest.
Getting up to change baby in the middle of the night was often tricky, battling tiredness, wrestling with a grumpy child and fighting with the folds of a Terry nappy and a massive safety pin.
I always took care to put my hand between baby and the sharp end of the pin, a procedure which did lead to some drama early one morning.
On this occasion, I was so sleepy I’d managed to insert the pin straight through a finger. I felt the pain, but thought no more about it as I completed the nappy change in the semidarkness.
Come the morning, Mrs L nearly had a fainting fit when she went to change baby and found a heavily bloodstained nappy.
It was, I was happy to reassure her, my blood rather than baby’s.
Day Two of babycare retraining involved a familiarisation course in the mechanics of the pushchair.
I have been amazed to learn that most pushchairs these days are about the price of a decent second-hand car.
Technically, a second-hand car probably contains less sophisticated engineering than a pushchair, so I am taking my time getting to grips with the levers, handles, brakes, grips and covers.
I have been allowed “hands on the controls” under supervision.
I have yet to “fly solo”, but that test should come before the week is out.
Day Six of retraining may take in installation of the car seat, but Alys’ mum reckons I may not be up to this task just yet.
Some elements of babycare retraining have come back to me – like riding a bike, you never really forget.
I’ve successfully completed “nursing back to sleep” on several occasions now. For this, I am grateful to the earworms of the hit songs Grandad and There’s No-one Quite Like Grandma.
I seem to have mastered carrying baby and carrying a tune at the same time – something simple and repetitive seems to do the sleep trick for Alys.
Naturally, for someone with my skill-set, the bulk of babycare duties have been absorbed (get it?) in nappychanging duties.
For now, the preferred options are disposable (thankfully, no dangerous safety pins).
Things have changed since “back in the day” 29 years ago.
If you’re wondering if Alys has had a pee, the nappy changes colour to tell you what’s happened.
If the “production” has been of the other variety, then your sense of smell will kick in!
So far, so good on babycare retraining, then.
Only one thing: I don’t think I’ll be able to face a night out and a chicken korma curry for quite some time...