Polling results in the hands of the gods...
YES, it’s results day today. The day you realise you may have put the “X” in the wrong box. It’s a mega-busy day for us journalists working at the newsprint coalface, sorting the results as they come in and trying to make sense of it all for you, our valued readers.
Perhaps you went for the postal vote option yesterday?
Or perhaps you opted for the more traditional method of a trip to the polling station?
The latter is the preferred option for those of us who don’t get out of the house often enough.
After the pandemic lockdown, it was a nice excuse to get out and talk to the neighbours!
One question, though... did you ask your mummy for advice on how to vote?
Well, you may well have done in the fair city of Swansea as our historic museum – the oldest in Wales – doubled up as a polling station.
Asking you if you went to the museum’s cherished Egyptian mummy for advice may be a bit of an odd question – as it turns out that the mummy could have been a daddy.
The ancient mummy – gifted to Swansea Museum in 1888 by Field-marshal Lord Francis Grenfell – is, in fact, a Him and officially identified as Hor, a clothier priest and scribe of the god Atum.
He lived in Akhmim in Upper Egypt between 250-200BC during the Ptolemaic dynasty and was named after the god Horus.
It is very doubtful that he ever had to worry about things such as exit polls and election swings.
Of course, most of the electorate trudge to a school or village hall to cast their ballots these days.
But Swansea Museum is not alone in being among the polling stations which can be described as “unusual”.
Across the UK, some voters can enjoy a trip to a windmill, get their laundry done or eat fish and chips at the same time as voting.
A skittle alley, a windmill, a caravan and a laundrette were among the weird and wonderful voting booths open until 10pm last night.
Voters in Ebbw Vale, Blackwood and Merthyr Tydfil could get a trim while they cast their ballot yesterday, with three hairdressers doubling up as voting booths.
Swansea was not alone in having a museum as a polling station.
Some 25 museums across the UK were seconded as voting booths, including the Museum of Naval Firepower in Hampshire, the Museum of English Rural Life at Reading University, Helmshore Textile Museum and the Biggin Hill Memorial Museum.
Meanwhile, voters in Halesowen were invited to choose their representatives for Dudley Metropolitan Council by visiting a caravan outside the Our Plaice Fish and Chip Shop, where they could also treat themselves to a chippy tea.
The electorate in Dudley cast their ballot in a caravan parked in New Rowley Road – if they wanted, they could have picked up a Chinese takeaway from the adjacent establishment.
In Sunderland, the electorate could take a tour of Fulwell Windmill, before stopping off to vote in the tearoom.
In Oxford, multi-tasking voters marked their ballot while they waited for their washing at Ace Laundrette.
Voters in Taunton cast their ballot at the skittle alley at the Flying Horse.
In Dunoon in Scotland, a dog training centre was turned over to the human electorate to vote for their representatives on Argyll and Bute Council.
For those of you who enjoy statistics, there were, in fact, 22,000 polling stations in use across the UK.
Wales boasted 2,100 polling stations.
Of course, as your local newspaper, we pride ourselves on being impartial when covering the elections.
But, at times like this, I often reflect on how some newspapers may not be so independent.
Many moons ago I knew an editor who took the opportunity to use the front page of his polling day newspaper to issue an instruction to his readers – “Vote Green!” – in 200-point capital letters.
It wasn’t long afterwards that the poor fellow became an ex-editor.
I am also grateful for the fact I don’t live in Scotland.
Yesterday, the Scottish paper The National used its front page to send the following message to its readers: “Send a message today: Vote till you boak and then let’s get on with Independence.”
Not being familiar with the Scots language, I had to look up the word “boak”.
Apparently, it means to vomit or throw up.
I am comforted by the fact that daily newspaper editors in Wales kept their heads yesterday and didn’t issue any similar “vote until you vomit” instructions to readers.