Coercive control victim Ruth shines a light on domestic abuse
IT IS six years since coercive control was made a crime, but while the number of cases has gone up, the prosecutions are not following suit. For a special documentary Ruth Dodsworth, who is herself a victim of coercive control, has been investigating whether enough is known and how to stop it.
Ruth, who has since remarried, is determined that her story will help others and has taken part in a new television programme, Controlled By My Partner? The Hidden Abuse. She spoke about finding new love and re-learning what normal life is like.
The programme shows previously unseen police footage of the moment her ex-husband Jonathan Wignall was arrested after making more than 200 phone calls to Ruth, and includes input from her daughter Grace who thought that her father’s behaviour was normal.
In her research for the programme Ruth finds that while reports of coercive control increased from 7,588 in 2018 to more than 14,223 in 2020, over the same period there were only 987 convictions. And these figures only reflect the reports made to police.
Here is what we learnt from the documentary:
■ 1: Why it is so difficult to identify coercive control
Ruth says: “I had no idea that the threats and manipulation that my ex-husband used for almost a decade were actually a pattern of criminal behaviour. He would phone me dozens of times a day wanting to know where I was and who I was with.”
It wasn’t until her own children began to fear for her safety that Ruth realised what was going on. Video footage of Wignall screaming through a locked door was shown in the documentary and also the moment he was arrested by police in October 2019.
The police officer said to him: “What happened last night mate?” Wignall says: “What do you mean?”
The police officer said: “She (Ruth) has called us this morning, saying that you were persistent on the phone last night.”
Wignall said: “She is my wife.”
When the officer said he had called his ex-wife more than 200 times and that he would have to be arrested, the reply was: “Why?”
As he is bundled into the back of a police van, he could be heard shouting: “Let me speak to her. Ruth! Ruth!”
I can’t pretend I am not scared, but I am trying to stay positive because my future is bright and my smiles are genuine now, and I want anyone experiencing this type of abuse to know, you are not alone. There is help available and you don’t have to live in fear
■ 2: Ruth’s children thought it was normal
Ruth’s daughter Grace took part in the documentary talking about how she thought her father’s behaviour was normal because she hadn’t known any different.
The 18-year-old said: “This was our reality, this was our lives. It was normal for us, and then we had all these professionals telling us it wasn’t right, and everything we had known had pretty much gone.”
In an earlier interview Ruth said: “They learned to cope, they learned to adapt. Grace and my son Jack effectively had each other you know, and they became a very tight unit and looked after me on a number of occasions where Jonathan was violent towards me.
“Our son Jack had to basically become my physical protector, in a
sense, and even had to wrestle his father off me. It’s not normal. It’s entirely abnormal. But it was just there, it was their reality. Looking back in hindsight is an amazing thing, but it’s taken professionals and police to tell Grace that wasn’t normal. It wasn’t a normal childhood.”
■ 3: The constant surveillance
Financial abuse and taking control of what to eat, what to wear and even when to sleep were some of the signs of the control held over Ruth during their marriage.
Professor Jane Monckton Smith explained coercive control in the documentary saying: “It is a pattern of behaviour used by an abuser with the ultimate aim of trapping their partner in a relationship with them. They can use different tactics. Using violence is an effective method to maintain and establish control.”
Her research shows a clear link between coercive control and domestic homicide.
Of the control, she said: “It is the most dangerous form of domestic abuse there is and it is the most likely to lead to serious harm and even homicide. We have to be able to recognise it and recognise when it is escalating and when it gets more serious.”
During the documentary, Ruth talked to other victims of coercive control and domestic abuse and their families. She also spoke to organisations that are training others in how to deal with the crime, including the police.
Ruth continues to speak out in a bid to help others and give them the strength to come forward.
Her last message on the documentary is important: “My ex-husband was jailed for just three years and nine months, but could be released later this year after serving just half of his sentence.
“I can’t pretend I am not scared, but I am trying to stay positive because my future is bright and my smiles are genuine now, and I want anyone experiencing this type of abuse to know, you are not alone. There is help available and you don’t have to live in fear.” ■ Controlled By My Partner? The Hidden Abuse is available on the ITV Hub.
Ruth Dodsworth