‘The tide is always out’ – the bizarre reviews and comments on Swansea tourist attractions
WE’RE lucky in Swansea to have so many great attractions on our doorstep ranging from beautiful beaches to striking museums and art galleries, and family-friendly leisure centres.
Whilst many of us visit the local landmarks so often that we know what to expect, visitors to Swansea and locals trying a new attraction for the first time often look to review sites like Tripadvisor to get an insight into what an attraction is like.
Of course, reviews help us prepare when visiting somewhere for the first time or trying out a new experience. They can help us understand how an attraction runs, who it’s suitable for and, sometimes, give us a bit of ‘behind the scenes’ information.
Unfortunately, some reviews are less useful than others. It can often be helpful to hear from previous visitors and learn what they enjoyed or didn’t enjoy when visiting an attraction; sometimes visitor complaints can be amusing, harsh and ridiculous!
As families across Wales consider what activities to book during the school Easter Holidays, many will look to Tripadvisor for some tried and tested ideas - so we thought we’d put together some of the most absurd and laughable reviews of Swansea attractions.
When scrolling through the site, we came across a reviewer who left a negative review of a leisure centre after they received a parking ticket from a nearby car park (surely this isn’t the leisure centre’s fault?!) and a visitor to Swansea beach complaining it was ‘long and sandy’. Yes, really.
LC Swansea
What score does the attraction have? The LC has a Tripadvisor score of 4 out of 5 points, from 1,799 reviews, and is ranked number 18 of 122 things to do in Swansea.
The unexpected reviews: Among the most ridiculous reviews of the LC, one visitor gave the centre a scathing review as they received a parking ticket when parked in a car park nearby, whilst another gave the attraction just one-star out of five after they turned up late and a staff member wouldn’t extend their visit.
“Booked play area for little one, went there and place was busy and messy, couldn’t really pass through with the push chair,” one unimpressed reviewer said. “Mats around were wet. Really disappointed for the price. Staff also not informed when I did ask about any other attractions in for toddlers.”
Another harsh review reads: “[I] arrived 15 mins late due to traffic which was not forecast, asked would it be possible to add or put our time back by 15 minutes or add onto and pay the difference! The receptionist could not have been less interested and eager to tell me no and get rid of me, as I walked away she was more interested in confirming her impending break and getting a chat on with her colleague! Politeness having travelled for 1.25hrs to get there was little to ask!”
But perhaps the most ridiculous review is this one: “Dirty hell hole. Overcrowded. Came back to my car at the council-run car park [i.e. separate to LC], graced with a ticket for not parking in a bay, no lines painted, complete joke. Shall be disputing. NEVER AGAIN.”
Mumbles Pier
What score does the attraction have? Mumbles Pier has a 4 out of 5 star rating on Tripadvisor, from 610 reviews, and is rated number three of 20 things to do in Mumbles
The unexpected reviews: One reviewer complained that it takes lots of money to win tickets in the arcade, whilst another gave the attraction a brutal review for serving tasteless coffee.
“Used to be an okay place to visit but not any more, most of machines are now tickets which is a win-win for the owners, as you just plough loads and loads of money into machines get tons of tickets and end up with sweets as a result,” one reviewer claimed. “Owners laughing all way to bank, understaffed, toilets are filthy on regular basis, needs new management.”
Another wrote: “Worst coffee in Swansea, avoid, went there earlier dreadful coffee weak and tasteless. Staff were nice, venue nice, but the coffee was bad bad bad.”
Dan yr Ogof caves
What score does the attraction have? The Dan yr Ogof caves have a 4.5 out of 5 rating on Tripadvisor, from 89 reviews, and are ranked the number two of three things to do in the local area, Abercraf.
The unexpected reviews? One reviewer describes the caves as “a poor man’s Disneyland!”
“All the ingredients seemed to be here for a full day’s fun, but we left after a couple of hours, feeling that the whole experience had been rather sterile,” they added. “The caves were interesting enough to wander around, but no better than numerous others we’ve enjoyed far more in the UK and abroad. And there should be more warnings that some caves need steep climbs, outside and in.
“The added attractions - dinosaurs, horses, etc. seemed irrelevant to the central cave experience, sort of random add-ons to result in a poor man’s Disneyland and to justify the rather high prices. Very disappointed.”
Another said they found the caves “boring,” writing: “I expected so much more - maybe that was my fault but I would not recommend going here to anyone. The commentary whilst walking around the caves was very poor quality, we walked around two of the caves within 15 minutes and the third cave was closed.
“The shire horse centre was also something of nothing. This was a very boring experience.”
Swansea beach attraction
What score does the have? On Tripadvisor, Swansea beach has a 4 out of 5 rating from 243 reviews and is ranked number 16 of 122 things to do in Swansea.
The unexpected reviews: One reviewer seemed to expect the huge bay to have facilities along its entire length, saying: “This is going to be short and sweet. This is a great beach but if you are in the middle somewhere there are no facilities whatsoever (as stated by the footballer Rio Ferdinand). No toilets. No bars. No ice cream parlours. Nothing. So people use it as a healthy walk rather than somewhere to spend a day or a good few hours. Either end there are ‘facilities’ but the middle mile or so is a vacuum.”
Another commented on the beach being sandy and long [go figure...]: “Stopped off here. It’s sandy, very long but not very appealing to me anyway. I wouldn’t go back to this beach as I didn’t find it very clean and when coming down one of the sets of stairs smelt strongly of wee.”
One person objected to the beach being exposed and windy - shame on the council for not putting the beach somewhere more sheltered!
Swansea Castle
What score does the attraction have? On Tripadvisor, the castle has a 3 out of 5 rating from 75 reviews and is ranked number 93 of 122 things to do in Swansea.
The unexpected reviews: One reviewer seemed to thing the castle should have been given a makeover by now, seemingly missing the point. “Left to rot...like the rest of the city”, was the headline on their comment.
Another felt the same, saying: “The castle has been left to simply decay away. Not really a tourist site to visit, just a side note on one of Swansea centre’s busy shopping squares.”
One person described it as a “sad looking place”, while another was rather more derogatory: “Its a wall near wind st which is rogue dirty and full of drunken heads.”
Ok, thanks for that.
Gower peninsula
What score does the attraction have? On Tripadvisor, Gower has a 5 out of 5 rating from 2100 reviews and is ranked number 1 of 122 things to do in Swansea.
The unexpected reviews: “Very boring place horrible Swansea has the worst weather in the world. People are miserable there is nothing to do here great if you like looking at grey skies and empty drab looking places.”
Not sure if they went to the right Gower, equally unsure about this person: “Gower has nothing for tourists. No public conveniences even, or nice cafes. Scenery is all right but otherwise the place is bleak.”
Scenery is, “all right” - clearly didn’t go to the right Gower, and nor, surely, did this person: “Went for a few days and was disappointed, this place is listed as an area of outstanding beauty, personally I didn’t see anywhere that warranted this title,
Another person thought the tide was, “always out”, clearly missing the point about tides.