It’s big and beautiful
ALEX HIBBERT discovers that good things don’t only come in small packages in Lanzarote
WHEN it comes to hotels, I’ve always thought big is not so beautiful. I see pictures of monolithic structures towering over scenery and vast rows of look-a-like rooms zooming off into the distance and I steer well clear.
Boutiques, bread and breakfasts and those little places where dinner is served up by the same person that knocked on you room to replenish your toiletries is more my style. I once even shared a sandwich with an Italian stranger clad only in his y-fronts in Bologna at an Airbnb where one of the bs, it seems, stood for bulge. And though I wouldn’t rush back for another night, at least it’s something I will always remember.
But these idiosyncratic experiences are something that I always thought you couldn’t really have staying in a hotel where you can get lost on your way to the swimming pool.
And then I stayed at the luxury five-star Princesa Yaiza in Lanzarote.
Now let’s get one thing clear. The Princesa Yaiza is massive. Properly big. I reckon that I could probably live there happily enough just camped out in the lobby, and even move a few family members in, too.
Not only do I indeed get lost on the way to the pool, I actually find myself late for dinner on more than one occasion by forgetting that a journey across the resort can take its toll on time (and legs).
Situated on the southeast coast of Lanzarote at Playa Blanca, formerly a fishing village, and with access directly onto the fine white sands of the Playa Dorada beach, despite its gargantuan size, Yaiza really is a beauty.
And being set over 55,000 square metres, it has everything you would ever need on a sunny sojourn away from the stresses and strains of everyday life – six pools, a spa offering groundbreaking treatments, nine stunning restaurants offering cuisines from around the world, a piano bar, a lounge bar, a juice bar, live music, TWO arcades of shops and a sports centre. The lobby even has a seating area-cum-freshwater retreat which reminded me of an attraction you’re more likely to discover at Disney-World.
But to merely list what Yaiza offers the weary traveller is to do the resort a disservice. Because despite its immensity, the Princess somehow manages to feel cosy, intimate even.
There’s a multitude of reasons for this – but one is surely the staff. They’re always ready with a smile, to say hello or ask what you need. No matter where you are in the resort you feel like you’re not far from a friendly face, and we end up spending most of our time with the hotel’s manager, who takes time to chat to every guest he can, seems to be friends with most, and has us in hysterics on more than one occasion.
It might have 385 rooms, but each has its own style and caters for the individual guest’s needs – whether that means special facilities for families such as bottle warmers, games consoles or adjoining rooms, or couples and honeymooners, who can create bespoke packages incorporating access to spa treatments and the fine-dining restaurant Isla de Lobos.
Ahh yes, the food. Without doubt one of the greatest pleasures of my stay at Yaiza was relentlessly piling on the weight I had worked pretty hard at losing in the weeks leading up to my stay.
Of course, the Yaiza has a state-of-the-art gym facility, but getting there might have got in the way of my daily one and a half hour visit to the hotel’s glorious breakfast buffet. And of course walking around the place is a workout in itself.
Paella, sangria, gin with a spoonful of tonic, pasta, tapas, bar snacks, snacks, more snacks, beer, wine, cocktails and a hangover or two.
Yaiza offers a smorgasbord of options for the hungry, from buffet options to a restaurant which is aiming for a Michelin star within the next year or two. At the Asian Kampai restaurant, Teppanyaki chefs cook, slice and even chuck food into the mouths of diners in an amazing eating experience which mixes gourmet food with theatre.
A lot of the produce the resort serves up is sourced from the local Finca de Uga farm, just miles from the hotel, or other local fishermen and farmers. And that restaurant aiming for the star? The Isla de Lobos, which serves up cutting-edge contemporary cuisine and where the local produce is most definitely the star of the show.
If you do fancy exploring the island, then the national park de Timanfaya offers a fascinating insight into how part of the island was devastated between 1730 and 1736 when more than 100 volcanoes rose up and erupted across the landscape.
Its unique ‘Martian’ landscape and rare plant species are unlike anywhere else, and you also get to see locals cause mini-eruptions of boiling water in man-made geysers, and even cook chickens using the heat from below ground.
The Kilómetro Cero Experience also allows Yaiza’s guests to tour the Finca de Uga farm, seeing how the hotel’s meat and veg is produced and meeting some of the farm’s cutest furry inhabitants.
And after all that eating and exploring? The hotel’s Spa Centre offers treatments based on the healing properties of seawater and seaweed and even magnesium. Like everything else in Yaiza the spa is huge, which means you get plenty of space to truly relax, be it in the seawater pool, splayed out in the sauna or while getting a pummelling from the jets in the hydrotherapy pool. It also offers magnesium treatments, which are only found in a few exclusive resorts around Europe and which work to shed the stress of everyday life in mere minutes.
And though I can only feel sorry for the poor consultant who has to help wash the magnesium off my body as I stand in only a pair of diminuitive, disposable briefs (after days of excess and imbibing my body weight in food and drink), it’s almost impossible to feel too down.
Because at the Princesa Yaiza, luckily the bs stand for big and beautiful.