STUART PIKE
STEVE Hughes admitted thinking life would never be the same again following his HIV positive diagnosis in December 2016, but says that fear was unfounded.
In an online blog post entitled ‘Living with HIV, my story,’ Steve, who is CEO of Citizens Advice across four Greater Manchester boroughs including Stockport, explains why he took three years to tell his mum.
In bold letters on the blog entry he writes: “I am HIV positive and I am proud to know my status”.
In the blog post, Steve also discusses coming out as gay at the age of 17 and criticises the characterisation he has experienced in some of his past relationships of HIV positive people being ‘unclean.’
Steve, 27, told the Express: “This used to be my secret, but I’m not bothered if people know or don’t know now.”
Steve says he has received a couple of “nasty” comments on twitter from strangers, but the reaction has been “overwhelmingly positive”. He explained a close friend had felt unable to tell anybody about his own HIV positive status, but has now been reassured that at some point that time will come.
Steve, who became a councillor where he lives in Rossendale aged just 19, reflects that earlier in 2016 he had felt like “a free man” after a difficult relationship ended and he started a new job. He made the most of single life, spending most weekends visiting Canal Street and he had a couple of short term relationships.
After a regular sexual health clinic appointment produced an “inconclusive” result, he received the shock diagnosis from a consultant on December 13 that year, leaving hospital in a state of confusion.
“I started to think - oh my god, my life is over,” he said.
“Whilst I didn’t think I would die, I did think it would impact on my ability to do my job. I thought I would be single for the rest of my life. I thought my friends wouldn’t understand and then wondered how I would ever be able to tell my mum.”
Supported by his housemate and a small circle of confidantes, Steve embarked on a routine of picking up his medication one pill per day - and planning six-monthly trips to the clinic.
He revealed he planned to tell his mum over a meal out after New Year, but during the night realised he wasn’t ready. He would not tell her for nearly three more years - reasoning that this helped to prepare her.
“I framed it that you need to realise I’ve lived with this for the last three years and you’ve not noticed any difference with me,” he said. “I look the same and feel the same and I’m going about my daily life. That then softened the blow when I told her.”
Steve also wants to highlight the work of the Terrence Higgins Trust and George House Trust, supporting him in his “hour of need” and providing information and support to ensure life with HIV is normal.
He added: “For me though, it sits around leaders within GM having the confidence and ability to speak up for those who don’t have a voice, or indeed are just struggling to accept their positive status – or indeed about mental health and other issues.
“As an organisation, Citizens Advice deals with people who need advice and support and who have HIV and I have seen cases where we have had to help people who are being discriminated against in the workplace because of their status – one very soon after I was diagnosed.”
While noting a generational shift in attitudes since the AIDS tombstone government TV adverts of the 1980s, he admits his own ignorance of the critical differences between HIV and AIDS.
He adds: “I would be lying if I said everyone was okay with it. There are some people out there who haven’t taken the time to understand what HIV is and, more importantly, what it isn’t, but that is their choice. I didn’t take any notice at the time, but the consultant said something to me that day that I will never forget.
“He said ‘Today, I could have given you a diagnosis of diabetes or even worse, cancer. Instead, I have given you a diagnosis of HIV something that will have very little impact on your life.’
“He was right.”