Clara’s cancer fight led to love
Actress and fellow brain tumour patient are now
THE look of love didn’t come in a bar – or even online. For Stockport actress Clara Darcy, she found the real thing while having treatment for a brain tumour at The Christie Hospital in Manchester.
She fell for fellow patient Tom Vinnicombe.
As they opened up to each other about the emotional impact of living with cancer something blossomed.
When they met at The Christie in October 2019, they were both having pioneering proton beam therapy. They were drawn to each other and after treatment they kept in touch.
Tom, 34, is from Cornwall but distance couldn’t keep them apart.
Now they are planning a future together.
Clara, 38, who has had guest roles in Channel 4’s Hollyoaks , ITV’s Emmerdale and The Royal, and BBC2’s Eric and Ernie, said: “It’s wonderful that something so positive has come out of our ordeals. I never dreamt having cancer would lead me to the man of my dreams.
“We understand what each other has been through. If I have a wobble, Tom’s there for me and I’m there to reassure him when he needs it. I am so grateful to have him at my side.”
Clara was diagnosed in July 2019 after suffering severe headaches for six months. She’d been to her GP several months before who put her headaches down to migraines and prescribed medication.
Desperate for relief, Clara saw a muscular-skeletal physiotherapist as she thought she may have damaged a nerve as most of the pain was in her neck; and then she saw a chiropractor.
“Nothing worked and the pain was escalating”, said Clara, who was born and raised in Heaton Moor.
One weekend, she went to her local A& E in agony. By then, she’d also had other symptoms on and off including a hoarse voice, blurred vision and vomiting,
Doctors told her that she had a very rare clival chordoma, a type of cancer that develops in the bone of the skull base and can grow towards the brain.
“My neurosurgeon said it was the biggest he’d ever seen – the size of his fist,’’ said Clara who went to Tithe Barn Primary School and Priestnall High School, where she was head girl, before going to Marple Ridge Sixth Form.
A week after being diagnosed, Clara underwent 14 hours’ endonasal keyhole surgery at Salford Royal Hospital.
“I couldn’t believe it when they told me they were going to remove my brain tumour through my nose.
“But it was the safest way to do it because my tumour was just in front of my brain stem and very difficult to get to with traditional surgery.
“My family were terrified I wouldn’t make it through the operation, but I just knew I would – partly thanks to my incredible surgeon, who removed 95-98 per cent of my tumour.”
Clara came round from surgery wearing a large halo cage to support her neck. After five days and more scans, much to her relief, doctors decided she didn’t need spinal fusion.
She couldn’t eat or talk for a week because she had an elective tracheostomy during surgery as the tumour was pressing on her trachea. After three weeks in hospital she went to stay with her mum and dad and recovered well from surgery.
Three months later she started eight weeks’ proton beam therapy at The Christie, the only UK centre to offer the treatment – which is more targeted than conventional radiotherapy and damages less healthy tissue – on the NHS since 2018.
Clara said: “I felt blessed to be eligible for the treatment, especially as the hospital is on my doorstep.”
By a twist of fate marine engineer Tom, 34, was also having proton beam therapy at The Christie, six years after he was diagnosed with a brain tumour in September 2011.
His family had already suffered tragedy when Tom’s twin brother, Christian, was killed in a car accident in 2009, and his mum was diagnosed with incurable cervical cancer 18 months after Tom’s own diagnosis.
Tom said: “When I was accepted to have proton beam therapy at The Christie doctors told me I was the first person from Cornwall to have the treatment on the NHS in the UK.”
He didn’t know it, but was about to meet his soulmate.
“Tom teases me as he vividly remembers meeting me on the first day of our treatment, but I have no recollection of it at all as I felt so ill,” said Clara.
“At first, he chatted to my mum more than me as he’d bump into her in the waiting room while she was waiting for me to come out of treatment.
“But we gravitated towards each other as we were the only patients of a similar age.
“My first impressions were, ‘he’s cute’ – he had the most gorgeous twinkling blue eyes and I loved his Cornish accent.
“I remember thinking in normal circumstances I would’ve asked him out, but I felt so rough during treatment that romance was the last thing on my mind.”
On December 5, 2019, Clara finished her treatment the day before Tom and rang a bell to mark the milestone, watched by her family.
“It was such an emotional moment and Tom gave me a massive hug,” said Clara.
“Next day, I decided to surprise him by going back to the hospital to watch him ring the bell as I knew it was too far for his family to travel from Cornwall.”
But when Clara got there, Tom had already completed the ceremony so he could leave earlier for his long journey home.
“I was really disappointed and wanted to keep in touch with him, so I asked the staff to forward a good luck card I’d bought for him,” she said.
Clara had put her phone number in the card and a few days later, Tom texted to thank her. They started messaging each other about once a month, comparing notes on their recovery.
“I found myself looking forward more and more to hearing from him,” said Clara.
“Over the following summer, the texts got more frequent and flirty, and then eventually we started chatting on the phone daily and Facetiming each other.”
In December 2020, after a year of keeping in touch, Tom had a check-up at The Christie and suggested they meet up.
“He was going to stay at a hotel but I invited him to stay with me,” said Clara.
“It was romantic going to Christmas light displays together and that was it really, we were a couple and things got serious quickly.
“We’re totally different and haven’t got much else in common apart from having brain tumours – I know nothing about marine engineering and the acting world is alien to Tom, but we just gel and it keeps things interesting.”
Now Clara and Tom take it in turns to make the 700mile round trip every foursix weeks to see each other and are planning a future together.
“It’s a hefty trip but it’s worth it to be together,” said Clara.
“Sometimes we’ve gone longer without seeing each other due to Covid restrictions, which was difficult.
“We’ve got to know each other’s friends and for now have the best of both worlds – Cornwall’s beauty and Manchester’s trendy
vibe. Once we’ve decided where to live, we’re hoping to move in together.
“Tom’s the only other person who gets first-hand the fear, anger and trepidation that comes with living with a brain tumour,” said Clara, who has co-written a play about her tumour which she hopes to perform at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival next year as part of a national tour.
“It’s so reassuring to know Tom gets how I feel and we both now have scans every six months.
“Tom also helps me cope with my anxiety that my tumour is malignant and very likely to grow back at some stage; and, although his is low-grade, there’s a chance his could recur, too.”
“Being diagnosed with a brain tumour is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me, but it also brought us together and we’re blissfully happy.
“We hope that sharing our story will help give people hope that you can find love even in the darkest times.
“Now we both want to enjoy every ounce of life together as we know how precious life is.”
Tom said: “Right from the start, our relationship was simple and relaxed – it felt right. We keep each other’s spirits up when the other is having down days. I love how cheerful Clara is, she always looks for the positive and is never down for long.
“The staff were amazing at The Christie but the best part was meeting Clara. It was such a random place to meet someone in hard circumstances, but I feel so lucky we found each other.”
Eve Kelleher, The Brain Tumour Charity’s head of services, said: “Our warmest wishes go to Clara and Tom and we are delighted for them that something positive has come out of their shared experience of being diagnosed with brain tumours.
“We are hugely grateful they are sharing their story to help us raise awareness about brain tumours – the biggest cancer killer of children and adults under 40 in the UK.
“While Clara and Tom’s experience is such a happy story of their diagnoses bringing them together, we know that a brain tumour diagnosis can be a huge emotional strain on relationships.
“Our Losing Myself report revealed that two in three people felt their diagnosis had a negative impact on their relationship with their partner, and 72% said it had affected their physical intimacy.
“That’s why we run a free counselling service in partnership with Relate for couples and individuals, whose relationship may have been put under pressure by a brain tumour diagnosis.
“And, overall, since March 2020, we have seen a 40% increase overall in people seeking our support and nearly 50% more people have joined our online communities for support.’’
‘‘Anyone affected by a brain tumour can call our free support and information line on 0808 800 0004 or email support@thebraintumourcharity.’’
● FIND out more: www. thebraintumourcharity. org