Poor Channel Tunnel vision
TWENTY-FIVE years ago I decided that I would drive to France in an amphibious car. The Channel Tunnel had opened only a few months earlier, which is the more convenient and quick way to get to France in a car, but for me the tunnel was a great disappointment.
When they started digging the tunnel under the English Channel I assumed that we’d be driving our cars through it. How good would that be? Smoking along in an E-type Jag on open exhausts, 20-something miles of aural delight.
But no, I assumed wrongly. It turned out that we’d have to drive our cars on to trains and then sit in them for half an hour while the train took us under the sea to France.
I was so disappointed that I couldn’t simply drive to France that I decided to do it anyway and set about finding an amphibious car.after much searching I found a French company that made a suitable machine but unfortunately they weren’t up for the challenge.
Then I found an Englishman made of sterner stuff. His name was Tim Dutton, famous for producing eponymous kit cars in the ’70s and ’80s. Dutton had just built an amphibious kit car using a Ford Fiesta.
As mad as a fish but not able to swim like one, he was well up for the challenge.
Which is how we found ourselves early one summer morning in 1995 setting out from Folkestone in a Dutton Mariner.
No doubt Top Gear, when it copied our adventure in Series 10 in 2007, came equipped with an army of people in hi-vis, risk assessors, caterers, key grips and best boys.we had Jeff Jekabson in his 50ft fishing boat Lynx. He didn’t give us any nautical advice because it was clear to him that we were probably too stupid to heed it.
His role was to use his fishing apparatus to extract us from the sea if it went wrong.
THE Mariner’s aquatic propulsion system was the Fiesta engine driving, via hydraulic pump and motor, to a jet drive unit. For road driving it simply drove its front wheels through the standard Ford gearbox.we had already discovered that the Mariner was not a particularly good car; we were about to find out it was a worse boat.
The tide was against us for most of the morning and we only made about 3 knots.the tunnel was looking sensible. The Mariner, according to its creator, would do 95mph on land and five knots in the water – or 5.75mph.
Much to Tim and my dismay we had not left Folkestone 10 minutes when one of Jeff’s crew shouted that we were averaging 2kts.this was rather disappointing.we were heading for Boulogne which is about 25 miles away so at this rate the trip was going to take more than 12 hours. I wasn’t sure we’d packed enough sandwiches.
After several hours we still couldn’t see the French coast and, even more upsetting, the white cliffs of our pleasant land hadn’t shrunk in size at all.
Suddenly our finely-tuned ears picked up a clunk-clunk from the stern of the boat. The belt from the hydraulic motor to the jet drive had got wet and was jumping teeth.
I don’t get seasick as long as the boat is moving; any bobbing about and I go green. I was just preparing to feed the fish when Dutton announced he’d sorted out the belt.the Mariner was only prototype No.2, so teething problems were to be expected.
Later the tide turned and we started to make progress towards Boulogne. The authorities can’t really stop you doing silly things like driving across the channel in a boat made out of a family hatchback – but they don’t like it.we were buzzed by a coastguard aeroplane.
They were probably worried that we were dawdling around in the busy shipping lanes.
So were we, because we knew that the Mariner was now on fire.the cooling fan in the engine bay had conked out and the heat from the exhaust had set something ablaze. Fortunately Tim had a fire extinguisher. We were only about five miles from the French coast but our fisherman escort was worried about us being hit by a supertanker and insisted that he tow us home.we had failed but it had been a valiant effort.
With further development the Dutton Mariner became a success and eventually managed the crossing. It’s still in production and is even available with four-wheel drive.
I’ve never been a fan of the Channel Tunnel so I use the ferry. It’s a bit quicker than an amphibious Fiesta – but not as much of an adventure.
The heat from the exhaust had set fire to something