‘Sage advice’ that’s just plain bonkers
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RESPECTING the almost 63 million Americans who voted for him to be their president four years ago, I normally fight shy of launching into instant spluttering condemnation of Donald Trump at every opportunity.
However, his handling of the racial crisis ravaging the US has been amateurish, crass and inflammatory. He’s out of his depth, and his decision to use tear gas and flash grenades to move on peaceful protesters so he could attend a photocall outside awashington church was reminiscent of the actions of an African dictator.
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WHILE our government has not covered itself with glory in its handling of the crisis, did you know the French government authorised the burning of more than 1.5 million face masks without checking their “use by” dates between December of last year and March this year, just as the virus bit.
So, we’re not the only ones who don’t seem to have a Clouseau!
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ITWAS always going to be based on hope rather than reality, and now that the treaty between Britain and China which saw Hong Kong ceded to Chinese control in 1997 has effectively collapsed, it is time for the UK government to offer a welcome to the citizens of Hong Kong we left behind.
China is clearly becoming increasingly blasé about how it is judged by the rest of the world, so although the Government’s attempt to secure support from the US, Australia, Canada and other countries is a valid tactic, it won’t bother Beijing for an instant.
The people of Hong Kong are some of the most industrious in the region.
Not only must we do our duty by them, they will also add immeasurably to the workforce of the country.
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THIS was not a queue for flatpack Ikea furniture in Warrington, nor for burgers, fries and shakes to-go at a burger bar in South London.
Rather it was for our elected MPS to cast their vote and, effectively, do the job for which we reward them rather handsomely. However, many were incandescent with rage at having to do it. For one it was “ridiculous” and for another akin to “a what’s-up in a brewery” as the politicians were treated as though they were trying to get on a ride at Alton Towers.
Hold on a moment though. Haven’t we all been told it is now safe to go back to work if we cannot work from home, and respecting those MPS who might be vulnerable or are in poor health, why are they different from the rest of us?
Their outrage also underscored the difference in the worlds we inhabit. For many this was clearly the first time they’ve encountered a queue in the past 11 weeks.
For the rest of us, it’s known as “going to the supermarket”.
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SOME water companies are threatening hosepipe bans as they claim reservoirs are running low. Given the enormous amount of water factories require has not been used for nearly three months, this seems dubious at best.we’ve only just got back into the garden centres – have we really now got to watch our plants wither?
IT’S THE mantra that has been drummed into us over the past 11 weeks: “We’re determined to follow, and will always be guided by, the scientific advice.” But what if that advice is as cogent as a fiveyear-old trying to tackle algebra?
Because that’s precisely what happened last week when the advice was contradictory, confusing and downright crackers.
New Health Protection Regulations for England and Wales mean you can only have sex indoors with someone you are living with – even if you and your partner have been together monogamously for years, but have separate homes.
Yet, if you respect decency laws, you can have intimate relations with up to five people in the garden so long as hand sanitiser and wet wipes are handy and you don’t slip into the pond or brush against the water feature.
Quite what you are meant to do about intimacy north of the Border is even more unclear, although whatever is permitted can take place within a larger group, as eight of you can get together there.
You can also have an albeit limited barbecue or small gathering outside, but if the clouds open you mustn’t invite your guests indoors.
Those same guests really shouldn’t be using your toilet and it would be better for the entire nation if they could hold on until they get home. If they do dare enter your loo, they should commence an industrial-scale deep clean after their penny has been spent.
You can go to the beach or park, but again be prepared for the fact all the public loos are closed.
As a hugely predictable but ugly consequence, residents living around these areas report their gardens and driveways are being treated as public toilets.
Meanwhile, in England you can drive from Devon to Darlington for exercise, but in Scotland you can only go for five miles.
You can at last visit your grandchildren, but it is better if you could hug through a plastic shower curtain.
You have to queue outside supermarkets while always observing social distancing, never mind the moment you get in it is business as usual as people wander the aisles in a bemused state like stunned survivors from a nuclear attack.
As of last week you can go to a car showroom. But only this weekend’s announcement has finally meant you’ll be able to say a private prayer at places of worship – from June 15.
You can, if you’re unlucky enough to have to, go to work on a packed Tube train (as many have) but can’t go to a gym where admissions could be controlled and a clear direction of how and where you exercise be easily established.
One of the plainest indications of the absurdity of this raft of new laws concerns the quarantine policies that are also introduced tomorrow and require anyone entering the country to isolate themselves for 14 days.
However, the list of exceptions is considerable and includes air crew, most NHS staff, anyone involved in haulage, police, utility workers, some care workers, fruit pickers, coach drivers and postal workers.
If this is so damned crucial, why has it been spoken about for over a month before being implemented and how come it seems virtually everyone except for a lighthouse keeper can be exempted?
To misquote Eric Morecambe, they’re playing all the right moves but not necessarily in the right order! This is what happens when scientific advisers are permitted to run unchecked. Somehow this Government has allowed itself to talk up and advocate absurd and plainly contradictory laws that are as watertight as a leaking bucket.
These experts are not to be blamed. If they had their way, we’d have 100-metre social distancing, none of us would leave our homes, sexual relations would be limited to married couples and only permitted on alternative August Bank Holiday Mondays, we’d board up our airports and ports and live off veg grown in our back gardens.
This is the world as seen through the eyes of Sage, the scientific group that has effectively taken control of the country.
But it is not the real world and, while always guarding the vulnerable, it is vital this Government realises now is the time to question this “Sage advice”.
‘It’s better you hug through a shower curtain’