JENNIFER

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WHEN called to the phone, Hollywood swordsmanwarren Beatty would do a speedy workout involving squats and 200lb weights so that when he picked up the receiver he’d sound breathless, as though he’d been disturbed from his bedroom exertions with some lucky lady. This is in a tell-all book called Miss Aluminium by former Hollywood model/pr/film extra Susanna Moore.

In contrast, most of us working from home (WFH) these days try to sound like we haven’t just got out of the sack. Mind you, I usually have to run around searching for the phone when it rings and sound all breathless and flustered as a result. I hope nobody thinks I’m doing a Beatty.

THE GREAT Italian composer Ennio Morricone, died last week, aged 91. A true maestro. He composed the soundtracks for any number of films, including spaghetti westerns Once Upon A Time Inthewest, Fora Few Dollars More andthe Good,the Badandthe Ugly. He was endlessly versatile and much-honoured across the world.

For days now – as the tributes have poured in – I’ve been hearing occasional snatches of those eerie, catchy spaghetti western themes on the radio.whistle, whistle, wa-wa-wa.

And suddenly I’m in a movie, in a poncho, on a horse, clip-clopping into some desolate town where tumbleweed blows down the road, a cheroot clamped between my teeth, eyes squinting against the setting sun...

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MORE bad news from China. Just when you thought it was safe to get back in the water (or at least venture a half shandy in a wind-tossed beer garden) here’s another alarming health bulletin from the country where it all started.

In Inner Mongolia a couple of people have contracted bubonic plague after eating pot-roasted marmot – basically a giant squirrel.

Uh-oh.