Festive fishing turns out to be a cracker...
IT IS THE season – and the year – to be moved. But it’s still hard to believe that a fishing show can be so affecting. In one respect, nothing really happened in
Mortimer & Whitehouse Gone Christmas Fishing
(BBC2, Sunday). They went angling along the rivers Esk and Tees and managed to land a few tiddlers, but they wouldn’t make the front cover of the Angling Times.
That said, watching comedian and actor Paul Whitehouse cast his fly across the waters of the River Tees might be enough to make some climb into a large pair of waterproof pants in the name of sport. Or is it a leisure activity? It certainly is when these two comics wade in.
The theme of this wonderful festive special was a Yuletide showdown between The Elf (Bob Mortimer) and The Grinch (Paul Whitehouse). The former did everything in his power to convince the latter that Christmas was worth making a fuss over. “I don’t buy this rubbish,” said Whitehouse. He wasn’t joking.
Mortimer didn’t hold back on the emotional leverage. First, he took Whitehouse to his childhood home in Teeside to talk about the death of his father when he was aged six or seven. His mum told him, “You won’t be seeing him again…” It was a terribly sad story, but followed by the revelation that Mortimer once received as a Christmas present a “blackhead removal sauna – while all my mates were outside on Choppers”. Who’s laughing now?
In Mortimer’s strongest play he deployed singer Chris Rea, a fellow Teesider. The Driving Home For
Christmas balladeer detailed his extraordinary list of operations and ailments before heading for the exit.
Asked Whitehouse: “You driving home?” Rea replied with a comedy salute.
This show wouldn’t be half as compelling if the scenery wasn’t filmed so majestically. Sweeping drone shots taking in the autumnal shades would make most reach for the watercolours. You’re right; reach for the sherry instead.
In what could be the funniest documentary of the year, Whitehouse summed up the spirit of their relationship, “You don’t half talk some b******s!”
The earth moved several times during
( C5, Monday), a show happily stuck in its own time warp. Indeed, some of the commentary was rather quaint. As one of the gentlemen lifted a log above his head – it’s complex – his extreme contortions were replayed to viewers in even more detail. Said Danny Wallace, comedian and commentator, “Now a few slo-mos for the ladies...” Objectifying male bodies for enjoyment? There’ll be complaints to Ofom and a minor culture war skirmish.
The only useful skills that were deployed by these guys, unless they were all
Britain’s Strongest Man
full-time lumberjacks, was running with a beer keg. That could be much sought-after if we’re looking for an environmentallyfriendly way to deliver booze during lockdown.
Otherwise, the competition was decided by a medieval playground game of “castle stones”, which involved lifting a large rock on to a square box.
Nice to know that the traditional pastimes are kept alive, and also that bodybuilders are as humble as ever. One, who must have been an extra in The Flintstones, said, “I’m one of the best athletes in the world…” No one’s arguing, mate.
We were all moved to hilarity again during Nigella: Eat, Sleep, Guffaw (sorry), Cook, Eat, Repeat (BBC2, Monday). This week she was taking the biscuit as she described her favourite sweet treat, which has the longest name in baking history. It was a Mine-all-mine Sweet And Salty Chocolate Cookie. It’s not quite “mee-cro-war-vey” but congratulations to dear nutty Nigella for making the most written-about cooking series since Fanny Craddock threatened to throw a saucepan lid at put-upon husband Johnnie.
Finally, a tribute show to a celebrity which revealed something new and interesting – and was intentionally funny. Not possible? Well try
Des O’connor: The Ultimate Entertainer
(ITV, Sunday) which was one of the week’s highlights. Several things emerged from this show. Des, inset, was one of our greatest all-round TV entertainers, and actually got a second series in the US. He appeared at the Palladium 1,384 times, and he loved to introduce us to new talent, such as Joe Pasquale, Alan Davies and Bradley Walsh.
But the biggest revelation was his relationship with Morecambe and Wise. Morecambe’s son Gary said: “I heard from my mother that Des O’connor rang up once, and she said to him, ‘ You’ve rung at the right time – he’s just listening to one of your records!’ So, all the joking? It really was joking.” Apparently Eric had bought all of Des’s albums. Really? If only we could watch a Morecambe And Wise Christmas Special. Shame, they’re never repeated.