Plan now for later life
THE PANDEMIC has, perhaps because its victims may frequently be elderly, focused our attention on how our older relatives are faring in general, and how to plan for their future care.
It is not an easy topic, as people are reluctant to tackle this touchy issue for fear of causing “discomfort, upset and arguments”, according to research from home care expert Helping Hands.
However, with half of all Britons expected to need some form of home care during their lives, the question cannot be ducked for ever, though at the moment contact with family is obviously often severely limited.
Nevertheless, said Andy Hogarth, Helping Hands chief executive, it pays to broach the topic sooner rather than later: “It is unlikely to be a single discussion, but lots of conversations over time.”
He also said to be patient with older relatives to help them get used to the idea that their lifestyle may change.
Planning in advance also means that you can postpone the conversation if it becomes too emotional for them, Hogarth added.
Dr Matt Connell, director of policy and public affairs at the Chartered Insurance Institute, said you should also consider what care you might need yourself one day, and set money aside to fund it:
“Too many only engage with later-life
planning once they enter their own retirement.” Connell said starting conversations early about family care needs reduces confusion in the future and provides reassurance.
Aegon pensions director Steve Cameron said the pandemic has increased pressure on the care system and with funding stretched, people need to take on more responsibility themselves: “Increased life expectancy and the rising costs of care mean this issue will keep getting bigger.” The following tips from Helping Hands could make that difficult care conversation a little bit easier:
● Make it clear that this is a two-way discussion and you have your loved ones’ best interests at heart.
● Choose a time when they are more likely to be receptive and co-operative, and make sure that they do not feel rushed.
● Plan your opening line. If you notice that your loved one’s house needs cleaning, for example, start by asking how they are getting on with the housework.
● Do not rush to offer solutions. Your relative must know that any support or care is their decision, and you are simply informing them of the options.
● Research the different care options so you can discuss their pros and cons, and explain the benefits.
● Use a gentle and encouraging tone and take the time to explain why you feel extra support might be worthwhile for them.
● Choose your words carefully. Your loved one might be more open to having “some help around the house” when they won’t like the idea of being “cared for”.
● Being independent is important for older people, so highlight how care will give them more time to do the things they enjoy, rather than take their freedom away. ● Be patient, especially if your loved one is living with a progressive condition, such as dementia.
● Seek advice from friends and family members in a similar position.
● Explain that care does not necessarily mean going into a home, and getting help could allow them to live in their own property for much longer.