I WAS ABOUT TO FIGHT AND POSSIBLY DIE... WAS I READY FOR IT?
TOAST OR cereal? Sitting in the comfort of our homes this morning, most of us will be mulling over the mundane daily choices we have to make. But 30 years ago, those of us stationed in the Gulf faced more pressing challenges.we were heading to a war.
The brutal Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein had invaded his neighbour Kuwait in August 1990. The world had come together in a near unanimous agreement that Iraq must withdraw. By force if necessary. By January 1991 there were 580,000 coalition personnel in the region facing 540,000 Iraqi troops.
I can remember with total clarity how I felt in the build up to Operation Desert Storm – the first Gulf War in Iraq. There was real worry and uncertainty – we would be putting our lives on the line.
And while combat became the norm for later generations of military personnel, back then few of us had seen our aircraft even loaded with live weapons, never mind flown with them.
My squadron was based on the island of Bahrain and I distinctly
‘There was simply no time for fear’
remember sitting on the coast staring out to sea, contemplating that I may not have long to live.
Iraq had invaded Kuwait and after nine years in the military, Queen and Country had called in their dues.
They wanted to know if the millions of pounds invested in my training had been put to good use.
I was about to fight and possibly die. The question I asked myself was: “Am I up to it”?
But those thoughts of fear were mixed with a sense of anticipation and even excitement.
War is the job we had been trained for and there was a sense of wanting to test oneself to the full.
It’s a bit like being a firefighter – you never want to see anyone’s house burning down, but it is still your job, your reason for being, to put those inevitable fires out.
And if you never fight a real fire, what has your career been about?
For me the sense of destiny was very real – the world was watching events unfold on its TV screens. This would become truly “televised war”.
How did it feel to be part of history on this scale? It felt electrifying. As our commander General Norman Schwarzkopf put it, we were going to be the “thunder and lightning” of Desert Storm.
But at the same time there was a real sense of trepidation, the fear of beginning a journey into the unknown. As the reality of battle dawned, those fears and doubts began to surface.
I had prepared for the practicalities of war. And death. There was a will to be made: who would get my car, my record collection, who would want my clothes?
But perhaps the hardest thing was to write the “last letters” that would only be delivered to loved ones if the worst happened.
It is an almost impossibly poignant task to tell a wife, mother or partner that if they are actually reading that letter, you would not be coming home. Ever. How do you
explain that no matter how much it hurts they must be strong and get on with the rest of their lives?
How do you express the depth of your love in a letter you hope will never be read?
In the early hours of January 17, 1991, battle was joined.
TV pictures showed the capital of Baghdad under attack by cruise missiles and stealth bombers – terms back then that few outside the military had even heard before.
SO IT WAS a time of both tension and excitement. There was a real eagerness, perhaps even desperation, to get into combat. Yet I remember feeling physically sick when I thought about what the coming hours might bring.
I was about to fight and possibly die. Interestingly, the thought at the forefront of my mind was not, “Will I survive?” it was, “I just hope I don’t let my mates down”.
As you enjoy your breakfast today, 30 years ago my colleagues and I were sitting at the end of our runways, in fully armed Tornado bombers. As my pilot John Peters wound up the engines, the fears began to recede as we prepared for the rather simple, technical practicalities of modern warfare.
Instruments, weapons, fuel, defensive systems and flight controls had been checked, double checked and then checked again.
The massive afterburners blasted us into the dawn sky and we were on our way to the target. Now, there was simply no time for fear.
Two hours later, flying into battle at 600mph, 40ft above the desert, our jet was blasted out of the sky – £20million of technology transformed into 20 tonnes of metal by a surface-to-air missile.
As my captors approached with guns blazing, concerns about letting my mates down became academic. Survival was my key concern.
We were captured, taken to Baghdad, violently interrogated and eventually ended up on TV.
We were forced to make broadcasts under threat of execution if we did not. Those images were flashed around the world and became an enduring symbol of Saddam Hussein’s brutal regime.
I spent the rest of the conflict as a prisoner of war while my comrades continued the fight, courageously
‘Saddam’s Iraqi forces were evicted and Kuwait was liberated. I was proud to be part of it’
JOHN NICHOL
facing enemy fire. Some of my friends were killed in the operation.
Eventually, the military was supremely successful in carrying out its objectives: Iraqi forces were evicted and Kuwait was liberated from occupation 30 years ago.
I was proud to be part of the military machine that achieved all of its objectives in Desert Storm.
If winning a war is possible then I firmly believe that in 1991 our military won. But it certainly was not the end of military action in the region. In the aftermath of a great victory, great failures occurred and the ramifications still echo across the region, and the world, today.
John Nichol is a former RAF navigator who served in Iraq, Bosnia and The Falkland Islands. His latest book is Lancaster – The Forging Of A Very British Legend. Tornado – In The Eye Of The Storm is published in June. Follow him on @Johnnicholraf