Army bloke to LA woke
YOU HAVE to know I’ve tried. Dear Lord, how I’ve tried. Indeed, I’ve bitten my tongue so often it’s rarer than the finest steak tartare. But last week’s events meant the time has come to ask: Just what has happened to Prince Harry – and is he truly happy with his startling transformation from Army bloke to LA woke?
It’s only six years since Harry left the Army having seen considerable frontline action. During his 10-year stint he was first deployed to Afghanistan in 2008 as a forward air controller, coordinating air strikes on thetaliban.after retraining as anapache pilot in the Army Air Corps, he went back in 2012 and served as a helicopter co-pilot and gunner.
This takes enviable amounts of guts and determination and surely we can all remember the video of him being interviewed, but suddenly having to break off and sprint to his helicopter as he was scrambled for action?
He’s stared danger, and death, in the face – and from all accounts he used to absolutely adore Army life. And why shouldn’t he? A good-looking, easygoing, single bloke with a sense of humour and ability to put anyone at ease (yes, I have met him a few times but I never name drop, his grandmother advised me on that) who revelled in the camaraderie, but was also ready to serve his country when needed.
Regrettably, the only time now he’ll have to hit the ground running will be en route to a mind shower or to drill down to the low hanging fruit in his hideous La-la land of politically correct, self-obsessed, gobbledygook.
In the space of just two days last week, Harry landed two jobs, both sounding as daft as each other. First up was as Chief Impact Officer for Betterup, a Californian life-coaching firm based in San Francisco. You can only imagine how his old mates would have reacted if he’d read the job description to them in the barracks one night.
He will need “to lead through influence tempered by humility” and have “a reputation as a strong team player known for collegiality and predisposition to work collaboratively”.
While few of us, I imagine, would qualify for this job, surely an even smaller fraction would be interested in the first place.
This stomach-churning woke speak is straight out of hit comedy shows The Office or W1A.
FOR the past two weeks this column has bemoaned the politicisation of the police and warned of the dire consequences. Exactly one week ago tonight, a peaceful protest in Bristol turned into an ugly riot with some yobs trying to set a police van on
Qfire even though officers were inside at the time.
Eyewitnesses report that fortunately the vehicle was driven away before it caught alight. There have been more Bristol demos since. What should have happened is other specially trained and equipped
“Someone get Harry to join us in Frankie Howerd ASAP so we can game plan this and get on the same page.”
UITE HOW you go from squaring up to the Taliban to spending your days presumably sitting on a giant bean-bag in open-plan offices that look like they’re kindergarten classes while staff around you are playing ping pong or curled up in “relaxation pods” seems baffling, but Harry’s clearly bought into it.
Upon appointment, he talked about “lifting up critical dialogues”, “self-optimisation” and “equipping people to thrive”. Hmm, wonder if he ever mentioned any of that to his old Army chums as they were unleashing missiles at murderous terrorists in Helmand Province?
A day later and he added another string to his bow. This time it is to investigate “misinformation”
The Union
Flag is to
fly from all
government buildings.
Great news. But who is
going to tell the
BBC? officers should have gone in like the Marines and nicked as many as possible. But, so long as the officer class are worrying about “working with stakeholders” and “engaging with communities”, officers’ wellbeing will continue to be put at risk.
for the Commission on Information Disorder, and again Harry seems to have bought into it big time. “It’s my belief that this is a humanitarian issue, and as such, it demands a multi-stakeholder response from advocacy voices, members of the media, academic researchers and both government and civil society leaders,” declared the Duke.
Pass me my hand-knitted Peruvian cap, I’m off to the yurt to try to work out what on earth that means. But, if it’s to probe fake news at least he can begin by “working from home” as is the modern obsession. He can ask his wife why she misled the world in declaring the couple were secretly married by the Archbishop of Canterbury ahead of the wedding day they shared with billions. They weren’t and it was utter fabrication.
Harry grew up, and excelled, in a world defined by duty and bullets. He’s swapped it all for one of bombast and baloney.we can only hope it is a role fit for a Prince.