Monster mash-up
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The big finale plays like a CGI version of Big Daddy vs. Giant Haystacks
GODZILLA vs. KONG Cert 12 ★★★
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IF YOU made it to the end of the po-faced Godzilla: King Of The Monsters, the opening of the new instalment of Warner Brothers’ Monsterverse franchise may come as a welcome surprise.
We’re “somewhere on Skull Island” where King Kong is going through his morning ablutions to the sweet sounds of Bobby Vinton’s Over The Mountain.
After scratching his haunches and showering in a waterfall, he’s ready for a catch up with his best mate, a cute little deaf girl (Kaylee Hottle) who communicates with him through sign language.
If Godzilla vs. Kong is going to live up to its title, it’s clear the hairy one is going to be the hero and the scaly one the villain.
This pays off in the big finale which plays like a CGI version of a Big Daddy vs. Giant Haystacks showdown, just with giant monsters and tumbling skyscrapers.
But if you can’t remember the intricacies of the previous films, you may find the 38-minute preamble to Round One hard going. I quickly gave up on the techno babble about “Hollow Earth theory” and
“alpha titans”. And sadly, as modern blockbusters have to run to at least two hours, director Adam Wingard throws in pointless sub-plots and irritating humans.
I wished Alexander Skarsgard’s serious scientist and Millie Bobby Brown’s frantic teenager were given a line of dialogue half as amusing as that goofy opening.
But the spectacular final showdown in Tokyo was worth the wait. I’ve enjoyed this year’s batch of awards movies but it turns out I was secretly pining for a cuddly giant ape to knock lumps out of a hulking lizard with radioactive breath.