It would be Grand to give us a break
LABOUR MP David Lammy got rather shouty on the Today programme last Wednesday when interviewer Nick Robinson kept pressing him on the trans question. You may recall that Keir Starmer was asked by Andrew Marr ontv if it was “transphobic to say only women have cervixes”. “It shouldn’t be said,” whinnied Sir Keir with panic in his eyes.
Lammy complained that the media are obsessed with the trans question when it should be asking the bread-and-butter questions about the economy, education, health etc.when you talk to people on their doorsteps they’re not talking about trans issues he suggested. He has a point.
But I also sense that people are getting increasingly fearful about the surreal turn that politics has taken, leading us into a mad world where the phrase “women have cervixes” isn’t merely stating the obvious – it’s actually contentious.
It’s the fear of “doublethink” as defined by George Orwell in Nineteen Eighty-four, “to know and not to know, to be conscious of complete truthfulness while telling carefully constructed lies”. It’s the fear of not being able to state a plain fact. Put simply it’s a fear of totalitarianism.
WHEN THE news about the fuel crisis leaked I was in like Flynn to fill up my tank. Mission accomplished, I could afford to take a more considered (well, smug) view of the chaos unleashed last week. Until my fuel light starts to flash anyway...
You might sum it up like this: I buy sensibly; you panic buy in a totally pathetic manner; he is an existential threat to the very fabric of democracy.
THE JOY of property programmes such as Love It Or List It or Escapeto The Country is the chance to snoop round other people’s homes. And the opportunity to do it for real is absolutely irresistible.
I spent last weekend in the Cotswolds for the Site Festival when the artists who live in the Stroudvalleys (there are quite a few as you might expect) open up their homes and studios to nosey art lovers.
We drove around picture postcard villages and – without so much as a by-your-leave – popped into exquisite dingly-dell gardens and honey-coloured cottages to inspect oils, watercolours, weaving, jewellery and sculpture. Some of the artists even laid on biscuits.
It was the most genteel fun and there was no pressure to buy anything.though I did come away with a tiny oil painting by an excellent artist called Melvynwarren-smith which was propped up on his sofa. (When I say “came away with” I mean I bought it rather than just popped it in my handbag,)
It was a festival of art but also of charming manners and free cake.we can all do with some of that I think.
REMEMBER when people used to say “Have a nice day”? That was bad enough but I’ve noticed that it’s been replaced with the lumbering and infelicitous “Have a good rest of your day”. To which I’m always tempted to reply: “But what about tomorrow? And the day after? Don’t you even care?”
IT’S GRANDPARENT’S Day today. Whatever that means. It could mean that it’s the day when grandparents all over the country are busy doing granny-ish and grandpa-ish things. Or it could mean that they get a well-earned day off. A survey of 1,010 parents and grandparents by a firm called Play Like Mum who make dolls’ prams finds that 72 per cent of UK grandparents provide weekly childcare. The average grandparent spends £1,129 a year caring for their grandchildren and 31 per cent of grandparents say this is the highlight of their week. How lovely. But um... what about the other 69 per cent?
And, curiously, another survey, carried out by Gransnet in the wake of the pandemic, finds that grandparents are less keen to resume the role of free babysitter. “Being brutally honest, I’m not sure I want to go back to 6am starts and 11-hour days looking after an almost-three-year-old,” wrote one contributor to the online forum.
Another said: “I helped most days with grandchildren for over two years. I was eager and glad to do it initially but it became long hours and a chore. It aged me 10 years.”
‘Truth is babies can be
(go on, say it) boring’
Grandparents are not what they were – serene retirees with time on their hands and an endless fount of wisdom and patience. Well, I’m not anyway. Many will still be working full-time to pay off mortgages, some will even have their own parents to worry about. Others will delight in having some time to travel, learn a new skill, live a little, spend the children’s inheritance and (whisper it) put themselves first for once.
I had the granny conversation with a woman I met the other day at a drinks party (so nice to be able to go to parties again!). She mentioned she had three young grandchildren and as convention demands I said: “That must keep you busy.” Looking slightly embarrassed she said: “Well, not that busy. I love them but I don’t want to look after them too often. I have other things I want to do which I’ve never been able to do before.”
I’m sure that lots of grandparents feel the same way and I admired this lady’s honesty.
It is almost sacrilege to say that there are other things to do in life apart from look after your grandchildren, partly because it makes you sound uncaring and partly because the cost of paying for childcare in its various forms has become prohibitively expensive. You want to help because you love your family. But you also have some other plans on the back burner...
Grandparents are supposed to find their children’s children endlessly fascinating whereas the truth is that babies can be – go on, say it – quite boring.the old adage that grandparents trot out is that after a knackering day running after a toddler you can at least “give them back”.
It’s a wryly humorous way of telling an unpalatable truth – that grannying is a wonderful privilege but isn’t always the bundle of fun it’s made out to be. Happy Grandparent’s Day.