We loved our little Sara and her death has touched everything. But her memory will live on in my music.. the beauty of music is that it lives forever
Sir James’s tribute to five-year-old
Sir James MacMillan has opened his heart about the death of his granddaughter – and told how he hopes her memory will live on through his music.
The composer and conductor revealed the tragic loss of five-year-old Sara last year inspired a new work that will be performed at a series of concerts next month.
The events will mark the Scottish premiere of his Stabat Mater – and the maestro said the Scottish Chamber Orchestra will also perform a moving piece he wrote in the aftermath of Sara’s death.
The youngster had a rare condition called Dandy-Walker syndrome.
She died in January 2016, shortly before her sixth birthday, after a life blighted by health difficulties, including epilepsy, cortical vision impairment, hip dysplasia and scoliosis.
Heartbroken dad- of-three Sir James said: “We absolutely hope Sara’s memory can live on. I’ll certainly do it through music.
“It’s quite hard to say objectively how her death has affected my work. However, every day I work I think about Sara.
“Within weeks of Sara dying, I was back at my work.
“Life as a composer is fluid. It goes from domestic situations straight into work.
“There’s no division. I’m with my family one minute then at my desk writing the next minute. So the music can’t help but be shaped by experiences.
“It’s difficult for an artist himself to account for how these convulsive events will impact on their work. But how I feel about everything since has been touched by it.”
Sir James added: “The mysterious thing about music is that so much of the soul of the composer, his life and exper iences are fed into a piece of music.
“A nd when t he composer dies, then this mysterious thing called music lives on.
“It’s a curious thing with classical music that it doesn’t need words or images but it goes right into our souls in a very spiritual way. The beauty of music is that it lives forever.” Sara and her grandad bonded over a shared love of music. The 57-year- old said: “We loved her so much. “She was disabled in most ways you can imagine but she was so happy. “She was one of the happiest little girls you could ever know and she didn’t know that she was disabled.
“Sara couldn’t speak and she couldn’t really see very much either – but she knew she was loved and she loved music.
“She was a delight who transformed our lives for the five years she was here.” Sara passed away suddenly in her sleep.
While it was some consolation to her family that she died peacefully, Sir James described her death as “the worst day of my life”.
The devout Catholic, who had the honour of writing a piece for Pope Benedict XVI’s UK visit in 2010, admitted his granddaughter’s disability was a huge test for his faith.
He said: “The death was obviously devastating but we tried to dedicate our lives to Sara.
“It had its challenges but it pointed out to us that it’s not careers, money and power that matters. Disabled kids especially teach us about love and they bring out the best of us.
“It’s unusual now, of course, for a child to die so young. A little white coffin is something you don’t see very often.”
Sir James was brought up in the Ayrshire mining town of Cumnock. He overcame being bullied for his love of classical music to become one of the world’s most celebrated composers.
To help inspire others to follow in his footsteps, he organises the Cumnock Tryst festival, now in its fourth year.
Sir James admitted: “People don’t normally think of Cumnock as a place where a music festival like this might happen but it’s the place where I became a musician because of my friends and teachers.
“I got bullied a wee bit but I didn’t really think much of it. Bullies questioned my sexuality, as they tend to do in these matters, or thought I was a bit too posh.
“But I come from working-class stock, so I knew they were wrong. My dad was a carpenter. My grandfather was a coal miner who loved music and got me my first cornet.
“He’d been a euphonium player in the colliery bands in the 30s and 40s. He took me along to my first band rehearsals in Dalmellington.”
Sir James added: “It’s such a shame there are so many stereotypes that set people’s minds against things.
“It’s sad to think there could be ordinary kids like me being turned away from these experiences because of the preconceptions of their parents or others.”
Sir James’s talents not only led to him meeting the Pope but also being knighted by Prince William in 2015.
He recalled: “Westminster Cathedral asked me to write a setting for Tu Es Petrus for the big Mass that the Pope celebrated. It was a pretty noisy affair and I remember being there and the Pope looked a bit stunned. But I think he was pleased, or so I heard.
“I met him at Holyrood and I only had a few seconds with him.
“All I said to him was, ‘ The musicians of the world love you, Holy Father’, and he said ‘ Thank you’.
“Getting my knighthood from Prince William at Windsor Castle was a lovely day.
“He was chatty and asked me about Cumnock, because his father is at Dumfries House a lot.
“I value having had a normal childhood and being brought up in Cumnock.
“I meet many composers in the world outside now and I sometimes think I’m the sanest of the lot. “But my wife says, ‘That’s not saying much.’” The premiere recording of Stabat Mater will be released through record label CORO on March 3.
It wi l l be performed by the Scottish Chamber Orchestra at Edinburgh’s Queen’s Hall on March 23 and Glasgow’s City Halls on March 24.