Still the brightest star
Well, triplee my word score… there’s scandal in Scrabble-Sbblland.ldEEx-champ h Allan Simmons, from Coldingham in the Borders, has been banned by the Association of British Scrabble Players for “actions that led to a suspicion of cheating”. Something about the way he took letters from the bag. Seriously? This from the kind of people who put the bored into board games. Most of us couldn’t give a quadruple X. They’re supposed to be F-U-N. Research by Glasgow University shows that treats from indulgent grandparents are contributing to childhood obesity. Gran and grandpa’s sneaky chocolate bars are condemning kids to future WeightWatchers classes. This will be shock news to my own mum, who thinks denying a child extra pud is tantamount to abuse. Seventy years since the war and she’s still over-compensating g for the sugar denial of ration books. Keep eep calm and carry on rationing. So Alex Salmond is stubbornly hanging on to his new gig on Russian telly despite criticism from the First Minister. His chat show will broadcast on Kremlin-funded RT UK, one of Putin’s projects to improve Russia’s image overseas. He’ll need guests. David Cameron is said to have turned down an invite, Commons speaker John Bercow pulled out. The first show could just be Alex in warbling g monologue. Oh, how he would hate that. at. Kylie Minogue switched on the Covent Garden Christmas lights last week.
As usual, she looked amazing. No one wears a leather dress and thigh-high boots with such charm.
Next month it will be 30 years since the one-time Neighbours star released her debut single I Should Be So Lucky.
And Kylie will turn 50 in May. Now doesn’t that make you feel old? The on Stinky goings- Scotland of in the East after a Football League Members rivals. between row were horrified of Kelty Hearts cow poo boxes of to receive no post. There’s through the were rumour they truth in the Amazon ordered through But were Prime Beef. by delivered they Pat? Postman pocket pop princess has taken some flak over the years for her use of Botox (she says she’s stopped now) but there’s more than chemicals keeping Kylie youthful.
When other sulky celebrities hide behind shades and refuse to flash the enamel, she tends to put her head up and smile like a joyful teenager.
Victoria Beckham et al should take note.
No, I’m not kidding. If you are inclined to seek out means to mark the event, no doubt you will find a contingent of petty males somewhere who are having a manly gettogether to celebrate their Y chromosomes.
They might raise frothy f lagons of ale and compliment each other on their fine beards.
But, as everyone else on the planet real ises, commemorative days are established to champion the underdog or promote the rights of a forgotten cause.
In that regard, International Men’s Day ( IMD) is as relevant as an International Billionaire’s Day would be. Neither group need our help.
Last year, two-fifths of all tweets about IMD were posted around March 8, which just happened to be International Women’s Day.
Ima g i ne all those disgruntled male sor ts bashing out angry posts about the brutally unfair promotion of women’s rights. Poor little diddums, craving attention.
It should calm their fury to know that they still have better pay, better jobs and better employment prospects and are probably less likely to be groped at work.
They don’t become second- class employees after having children, don’t f ind themselves trapped in low- paid, part-time jobs and don’t bear the worst of welfare cuts.
On a wider world stage, it’s not men who are sold into marriage, f logged for being raped, forced to cover up or threatened by honour killings.
So IMD is just like any other day of the year to most guys – a day when they’re generally faring much better than women.
They should content themselves with Movember, a perfectly acceptable whole month dedicated to raising awareness of male health issues while celebrating their ability to grow facial hair. (We women go through agonies to get rid of ours. Would like to see a man wax his ’tache.)
Now, don’t get me wrong here. I’m married to a man, I’ve got two sons and I’m surrounded by male friends and family members who are wonderful, principled human beings who deserve nothing but respect.
And I don’t think men have it easy either, that life is one great big carefree round of golf for them. Of course it’s not.
I have felt a little creeping sympathy for the decent, honourable majority of males who must feel a little brow-beaten and under scrutiny right now.
Let’s face it, men have had a particularly bad press over recent months. There’s been the Weinstein scandal spreading like a contaminant through Hollywood and beyond, quickly followed by the Pestminster revelations, t a k ing in t he BBC , accusations, admissions and resignations all around as women finally speak out about a culture where they have been routinely groped or abused.
Men have been urged to examine their own behaviour and think about how they may have over- stepped a mark , even those who never have, and never would, make inappropriate advances to females.
It can’t make blokes feel good. But it’s not like they’re oppressed, is it? It’s not like they’re fighting for equal representation in the boardroom, just advised not to sexually harass the women who are already there.
And we had to laugh when Jo Swinson, Lib Dem MP for East Dunbartonshire, told last week’s parliamentary debate on IMD that hapless, bumbling stereotypes like Homer Simpson have helped undermine men’s roles as fathers.
No offence, guys, but if you have to resort to blaming Homer, you probably weren’t up to much in the first place and you’re spending too much time watching TV.
The worst thing about IMD is that it trivialises International Women’s Day and the very real and very serious inequalities, injustices and abuses it highlights.
So let’s not debate it in parliament, where only 32 per cent of MPs are female. When it’s a 50-50 split, we might think again.
Until then, men should be grateful for the 365 days of predominance they enjoy every year.