It was lovely seeing the students graduate but so tough to go up in our son’s place.. it reminded us of what should have been
Bitter-sweet day for mum and dad at graduation
Clutching the certificate marking their son’s achievement, it should have been one of the happiest moments of their life.
But for Jackie and David Sloan, the day was tinged with sadness.
They had just collected a posthumous honour on behalf of their son Ross, who died in a car accident.
The psychology student was halfway through his four-year degree at Stirling University when his life was cut short.
Four weeks after he celebrated his 21st birthday, Ross, 21, died after his car hit a concrete barrier on the M80 as he travelled to see his girlfriend last August.
On Wednesday, the university presented David, 53, Jackie, 53 and Ross’s brother Callum, 20, with his diploma in Higher Education.
The family, from Newton Mearns, near Glasgow, stood on the stage to accept the certificate to rapturous applause of around 350 graduates and their relatives.
David said: “We were second last to get the honour.
“But even if we had been first we would have stayed there all day.
“I was told later there was a huge round of applause but we couldn’t hear it. We were focused on what we had to do for Ross. “It was a very emotional day.” He added: “We really wanted to be there but I need to say it was hard to watch all the graduates celebrate with their families.
“Of course, we were happy for them but it was difficult to be the ones on the outside looking in.
“It reminded us of what should have been.”
Mum Jackie said her son would have b e en “rea lly pleased” that
they accepted the honour. She added: “I think Ross would’ve been annoyed he never got the full degree.
“But I think he’d be really, really pleased we did it for him. Psychology was what he wanted to do. “He was just a lovely and caring boy.” Jackie told how Ross was the first person on her side of the family to attend university and he was enjoying student life.
She said: “He was such a hard worker. He worked for everything, including his place at university.
“We were just so proud but we wanted him to be there last week because he would have loved it. It was only after I saw a video I realised how much people were clapping.
“We went for afternoon tea with some of his friends and our families so it was a lovely day.”
Ross died the same day he returned from a holiday with friends. He was on his way to Dundee when he crashed.
Jackie relived her f inal memories of Ross.
She said: “I had a headache and I was lying down upstairs and Ross came in to see me.
“He lay down besidede me and said ‘I love you mum and I missed you”.
“To some people that mightsoundmightsound strange but that was the type of boy he was and that’s the type of family we are.
“It was normal for us. Ross texted us once and said if he ever he had children he would bring them up like we did. He would have been a lovely daddy.” Ross’s Vauxhall Corsa crashed on August 17, near Moodiesburn north of Glasgow.
It’s a road Jackie has been unable to travel on since the accident. Emergency services rushed to the scene and he was taken to Glasgow Royal Inf irmary where he died. That day, there had been
a freak deluge of rain. He wasn’t speeding and he lost control of the car when it aquaplaned.
Jackie added: “Every day we wish it was different. It’s a nightmare. He was just such a huge part of our lives and such a great big brother to Callum. Ross was only two years into his degree and although the day was about recognising his achievements we just wish he was still here.
“It’s been a very tough month. It would’ve been Ross’s birthday on June 19. There was a football tournament in his honour, it was Father’s Day and we collected his diploma.
“He wasn’t just my son. He was my best friend.”
David described their oldest son as “a thinker”.
He said: “He was so thoughtful of other people. We came back from our holidays and there were two or three birthday parties the same day and he split his time between them because he didn’t want to let anyone down.”
Ross loved to travel and went to Canada for his 21st birthday.
He tried out horse-riding and white water rafting and even considered returning to work as a rep.
David said: “He and Jackie love travelling. He had already been on lots of holidays but he had the whole world to see. We just don’t want people to forget about him. That’s our worst fear.”
The fami ly receive counsel l i ng t h rough Brightest Star, a charity for bereaved parents.
Jackie said: “His friends have been wonderful and organised a fundraising tournament to raise funds. Everyone misses him terribly.”
ofessor David Donaldson, head of psychology, said: “Ross was a very popular student.
“The posthumous diploma recognises his academic achievements at Stirling and honours his memory.”
Ross said, ‘I love you mum and I missed you.’ That’s the type of boy he was