WRITING SOME WRONGS WITH DONALD TRUMP
Our columnist on how his new book is based on death threat to president
Forget a bucket list – terminally ill journalist Frank Brill has a “f***k-it” list… on it are all the folk who have annoyed him and he can’t rest in peace until they are dead.
This is the chilling plot of John Niven’s latest book, which is set in near-future America and follows the main character as he wreaks revenge on the f ive people he believes are responsible for ruining his life.
After the pointless deaths of his wife and children – which are linked directly to Donald Trump’s administration policies – Frank sets off on a murderous road trip, which finishes with him setting his sights on the US president.
Although John does not condone violence, he admits Trump would occupy top spot on his “f**k-it” list – if he had one – along with spots two, three, four and five.
The Sunday Mail columnist, whose part political satire, part revenge novel gives a chilling insight into what life in the States might be like if the president gets re-elected, says the planet would be a better and safer place without Trump on it.
Never one to shy f rom controversy, John, who says he has fantasised about killing the contentious leader of the free world since he came to power four years ago, would love Trump to hear about his book and come after him.
The former A&R man said: “I’m not a vengeful person and am not one for holding a grudge but, if I did have a f**k-it list, Donald Trump would pretty much be numero uno, two, three, four and five.
“I don’t want him killed but, let’s face it, he’s an old, fat guy w ith terrible eating habits and you would think a heart attack might creep up on him at any moment.
“I suppose my book is a little bit of a road map about how you might assassinate him, which I am not advocating, but I can’t see any possible argument that would say the planet would not be a better place without Trump on it.
“I would never endorse v iolence but I have fantasised about killing
Trump on a daily basis for the past four years. My disdain for the man began in 2012 when he blocked me on Twitter.
“It was the night Obama won his second term and
Trump had been winding it up on Twitter that
Barack was going to lose.
“When he won, Trump tweeted, ‘Bah, back to the drawing board.’ I tweeted h im back say ing he sounded like a really bad Scooby-Doo villain – and, bang, blocked.”
John, 52, added: “Trump is a guy who can’t read a one-page briefing report so I think my 300-page novel will be beyond him but I’d love some of his far-right cronies to bring it to his attention.
“I would love him to come back at me, so bring it on! I would love to have a public debate about the book with old Trump.
“I’ve been accused of being uncivil in my views on him, which makes me laugh. How civil was it last week when Trump smirked as he announced Mitt R omn e y had suspected coronavirus. Every morning when I wake up and realise he is sti l l the president astonishes me.”
The award-winning author’s book The F**k-it List, which is out now, is set in 2026 in an America that has borne two terms of a Trump presidency and is now in the first term of his daughter as president.
John, whose debut novel Kill Your Friends was made into a feature film starring Nicholas Hoult, said: “The funny thing about satire in these times is that reality outstrips you pretty fast.
“Having Ivanka in the White House when I was writing the book seemed like a crazy concept and a hysterical idea but now I think it’s an extremely likely scenario.
“It will either be her or Don Jr as president as that will be the only way Trump stays out of prison until he dies. If he can get two terms and then get one of them in, he will buy himself 12 to 16 years so, by the time they get him in the witness stand for the dark stuff he has undoubtedly done, he wil l be nearly 90 and will say he is too old to remember.”
The former music exec’s idea for the book came 10 years ago during a pub conversation with his childhood pal Alan Carruthers when they discovered a friend had been diagnosed with cancer.
John said: “Alan asked me, ‘What would you do if you got that diagnosis?’ I thought he meant a bucket list with things like swimming with dolphins on it. But, no, he meant a list with the names of five or six people who had really done you over in your life and who you would like to take a shotgun to on their doorstep.
“When you are a novelist, ideas like that stick in your head. It was 10 years after we had that conversation that I started to write the book. I hope people enjoy it.”