El Tel gave me bags under my eyes as he treated me like servant but true legend Best lived up to his name ... by remembering mine!
Whistling Jack Smith claimed he was Kaiser Bill’s Batman on his 1967 hit that reached No.5 in the charts .
I can match that – I was
Terry Venables’ bagman 38 years later!
While Whistling Jack was clearly having a laugh, the former England manager quickly wiped the smile off my face. I had the dubious distinction of becoming El Tel’s flunky in my role as president of the Scottish Football Writers’ Association.
We had booked him for our annual awards dinner and I had to collect our principal speaker at Glasgow Airport.
As I spotted him wandering through the arrivals lounge I called out – “Terry” – and was greeted with a smile and a handshake.
But when he handed me his overnight bag I wasn’t sure whether he thought I was the limo driver or if he just had a solid brass neck.
I lugged his bag to my car but when he stood back and waited for me to open the door for him, he had clearly decided I was his flunky.
Worse followed. When we drew up outside Glasgow’s Hilton Hotel, Venables made no move until I had opened the passenger door and fetched his bag from the boot.
By now the hotel’s commissionaire had offered to take over my bagman duties with my patience at breaking point.
I convinced myself all the hassle would be worth it when he turned out to be a star turn at the dinner.
But how wrong could I be? Despite collecting a fee in excess of £3000 and the cost of a return flight from Spain, Venables flopped, boring myself and 600 other guests rigid with his speech. He clearly had not bothered to prepare properly or research his audience, it was more a case of take the money and run.
While El Tel went downhill quicker than an Alpine skier in my estimation, the great George Best didn’t disappoint.
He was a good few pounds over his fighting weight when the late Tom Hart signed the Manchester United legend in 1979 at £2000 a game, paid out of the Hibs chairman’s own pocket.
Bestie’s speed had gone but his skills hadn’t and he was still the same bag of tricks he had always been. He hadn’t played for five months prior to me watching him in his first appearance in a Hibs jersey, against St Mirren at Love Street on November 24, and he scored near the end of a 2-1 defeat. On his home debut a week later against Partick
Thistle his presence drew a crowd of 20,662, four times the average attendance. Inspired by their new team-mate, Hibs won for the first time for three months, beating Thistle 2-1.
The post-match press conference was held in the boardroom and when George arrived to be interviewed I realised we were in the presence of a true legend.
Like Seve, he had that unique charisma , was blessed with film stars looks and oozed charm. I had seen him play many times but this was the first time I had met him up close. He smiled as he shook hands with every journalist, noting our names in the process, before holding court with a beer in hand.
I encountered him a couple of times after that but hadn’t expected him to remember my name when I next came face to face with him post-match after Hibs had suffered a three-goal defeat at Dens Park in March.
The local hacks appeared reticent to approach him requesting an interview so I took it upon myself to go in search of the great man, eventually tracking him down in the away dressing room.
He emerged a short time later, smiled, offered his hand and said: “Hi, Jim. Good to see you again. How are you?”
I thought I’d need surgery to have the smug smile removed from my face. Here was a genuine hero of mine and he had remembered my name. It doesn’t get any better.
His stint at Hibs may have been clouded by controversy but they were great and memorable times.
A decade earlier I had watched Bestie produce a moment of magic against Middlesbrough in a midweek FA Cup tie at Ayresome Park.
He was having a quiet game and former England fullback “Handsome” George Hardwick, who was sitting alongside me in the press box, remarked that he couldn’t understand what all the fuss was about. Moments later, Bestie ran almost the length of the pitch, zig-zagging past one opponent after another before scoring a trademark cheeky goal.
You were saying, George?